i forget where we were
by icings
Summary: Henry Mills is determined to get his Mom back. He just hadn't expected to find a Dad along the way. A Captain!Cobra father-son story. Title from Ben Howard's song of the same name.


**i forget where we were**

In the light of day, he constantly sees the Dark Swan.

Awake, the memories of her twisted seductiveness haunt him, to the point that he cannot think of anything else, unless he's got something to distract him - usually the research, the plan, or the precious, precious boy.

He's got nothing to do now though, the research at a momentary standstill as he waits for Belle to dig up more resources to search through. The Camelot plan too is at a delicate phase, one the Charmings have taken complete charge of. It has been gently pointed out to him that a furious pirate waving a sword about - demanding answers or else - would not help proceedings, and so he's taken a step away from that front. And Henry is at home with his adopted mother.

He has but not a single thing to distract himself.

So he can't not think of her.

She's Emma, but she's not her at all. The darkness had swallowed her up, taken control, and brought about someone he didn't know. But recognize, oh yes. She's Emma's face, Emma's body; if painted over starkly pale and draped in black robes.

But _Emma_ , her heart, her soul, her lightness, that's all missing.

And she's left behind this taunting creature who knows all his weak spots and does not hesitate to go for them.

 _She walks around him in a small circle, slow and leisurely, as if assessing him from all sides. A tiny smirk plays at her lips, and it's so unlike Emma that he just wants to grab the creature and shake her until she gets that expression off his Swan's face._

" _Not sure what it is about you," she finally deems; assessment apparently found lacking. "Pretty enough, certainly, but pretty doesn't explain the attachment."_

 _She steps right up to him then, all in his personal space, grabbing at the lapel to his jacket, and he hates this, hates every last second of it, but he can't breathe to move, can't do anything against this Emma-but-not._

 _He won't harm her. Not when his Emma is in there somewhere._

" _Pretty," she muses again, "but a pretty pirate is still just a pirate."_

 _She might as well have hit him._

" _Though I suppose," she continues, tightening her grip on him in physical response to his recoil, "even pirates have their uses. Particularly pretty ones. How about it, Captain? Shall we take you for a spin?"_

 _She's only a whisper away from kissing him now; they're breathing each other's air, and he just feels sick._

" _You_ want _her, your Emma," she taunts. "And she wanted you back. It's close enough, is it not, to have her body?"_

 _That's it._

 _Whatever this creature is, it's not Emma. The darkness had done something to her, and it's enjoying it, enjoying tormenting him about it._

 _He won't have it._

 _He grabs her waist, watches her eyes light in triumph, only to darken immediately back in fury as he uses his grip to push her off of him, to give him some space yet._

" _You go to hell," he hisses. "And you_ will _go. I'll get her back out of this if it takes my dying breath._

 _The Dark Swan bares Emma's teeth. "So be it, then."_

 _She vanishes in a cloud of magic before him._

 _It's all he can do to stay on his feet to turn away, when all he wants to do is go down to his knees._

As cursed by the Gods and all the damned, yes, all he can think about during the day is the Dark Swan.

But at night, all he sees is Emma.

She comes to him in his dreams without fail, and she is always, always _her_ , always _his_ Emma. Fierce and bold and vibrant and glowing and always looking at him as if he's some kind of delightful surprise, some kind of miracle.

She's usually wearing a ragged grey gown and cloak when he dreams of her; the significance of which is lost on him, but it's such a beautiful difference from the bleakness of the Dark Swan's black robes that he cares not.

Cares not, but notices certainly, so it's a notable thing when she shows up on this night, a vision in pure, beautiful white. Her hair loose and curly, her makeup so faint he's not altogether certain she's wearing any at all, this Emma could not be more opposite of the stark Dark Swan if she tried.

He wonders if he's being delivered with his own personal angel.

She's glorious, the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

He's always thought of her as his light in the darkness.

But like this, she might well be the sun.

He feels caught in a fog, befuddled and bewitched; even more so than usual for his dreams. It's oddly pleasant, not having to think at all, not even having to feel, really.

All the pain is gone.

There is only her.

And he would follow her into the dark, into the abyss, into nothing and everything.

So when she reaches out her hand to take his, motioning for him to follow her with that blessed smile of hers, he goes without question, hand in hers, following her into the mist that is the depths of this dream.

It all blurs together, perhaps more than it should, but it feels right and good and safe, feels like a fairy tale, feels like _home_.

It's all fairy lights and rose bushes everywhere, and he finds the most perfect bloom, a beautiful pink that just says _Emma_ to him, the Emma who blushes so prettily when he looks at her, and he plucks it and presents it to her with a bow and a flourish, and she lights up like his sun, glowing within and without.

And they're in the Enchanted Forest, and they're horseback, and she is in all white in contrast to his black but for the splash of red that comes from the vest that his his most formal of wear. And someone is speaking but he can't hear the words, not when Emma is looking at him like that, all hopeful and bright, and then she's kissing him and he's kissing her, and it's perfect, perfect, perfect.

And he shoots up in bed with a start, and runs his hand over his face and feels it come away wet and vaguely recognizes that he's crying, because now he knows what it feels like to marry Emma Swan.

It's a pain beyond anything he could have ever imagined.

He loves her as a wife.

And even still, wherever she is now, he cannot reach her.

* * *

It has come to the point where he has started making contingency plans for what he'll do if his Mom and Robin just never go to sleep again.

It's as if they're waiting around for him to sneak out, which is insulting on so many levels, namely that he's never snuck out this late before, and also, he was very careful to keep his temper at dinner so they wouldn't think he was planning to.

(He is planning to.)

It takes until about one in the morning, but the house is finally silent and still, and that's all he needs to make his escape.

He knows this house like the back of his hand after all, knows it better than his Mom could ever dream of knowing it, having spent his childhood exploring it while she was off being the Mayor. She may think she has every exit point covered, but she's wrong about that.

And Henry Mills can be very resourceful when he wants to be.

It's not as if he enjoys disobeying his mother like this. But she just doesn't understand, not anymore.

And so he goes to the one person who does.

It doesn't take long to make the walk from Regina's mansion in the fancy part of town to Granny's Bed and Breakfast, even in the dark. He's done it almost everyday since childhood - usual daylight notwithstanding - and he's fairly sure he could probably do it with his eyes closed, if not for the slight risk of cars.

So too does he know exactly what room it is that he's going to, and so there's never any need to go in by the front desk to grab the attention of whoever Granny has working it, and thus there will be no alerting Granny, and finally no immediate phone call to Regina, which would just defeat the purpose of all his hard work.

No, he's going in the back entrance that all long term residents are granted access to, and sneaking up that way.

He doesn't bang on the door too loudly, conscious of sleeping guests, including the one to whom he's making the late-night visit, but his light, quiet knock is answered almost immediately, which suggests to him that he's not the only one who needed this particular visit.

He goes barrelling straight into Killian Jones' arms, and the slight 'oof' in response is the only hint of the man's surprise, as his arms come up immediately to wrap him in a hug as if this is something they've ever done before.

"It's bloody late, mate," Killian points out after a few moments, and from literally anyone else it would sound scolding and infuriate him, but from Killian, it just sounds concerned. "You want to tell me what happened to bring you here at 1:30 in the morning?"

He huffs. "Mom was on alert. Stayed up for ages making sure I didn't sneak out."

"And so you waited her out and made a break for it the moment the opportunity struck? On a whim? Come now, kiddo, you know I know you better than that."

Shrugging, Henry maneuvers his way out of Killian's grip and wanders deeper into the room and throws himself into a ball on the floor, sitting with his knees up by his chin and his arms wrapped around his legs.

It's a slight reassurance, but one nonetheless, when Killian shuts the door behind him, signifying his acceptance that this is going to be a long visit.

"If you need yell or throw things around, feel free," Killian says, coming to sit down on the floor next to him, "but you _are_ going to tell me what happened."

"Robin moved in."

"Ah."

"They're happy. They're really ridiculously happy. This is their happy ending, or whatever, and I'm glad for it, I'm glad my Mom has found this, found him, but they're so freaking happy, and my other Mom is _gone_ , and nothing's okay, and I can't pretend it is, and it feels like a giant insult to me and my Mom that they can be like this when I don't have her!"

He exhales, feeling better for having said it, and yet somehow feeling worse for having said it all at the same time. Feelings suck. "I know it's stupid and I'm horrible."

"It's not stupid and you're the least horrible person I'm quite certain I've ever met," Killian corrects. "True happiness is an elusive little bugger, and it's a cruel temptation to boot. And I know well how hard it is to watch others have it when you don't."

The exhaustion in Killian's voice with this last admittance has Henry looking up from where he'd been staring at his feet, and he feels guilt stagger him at how absolutely wrecked the older man looks.

"You dreamt of Mom again, didn't you?"

"Aye," Killian mutters, barely audible.

"Was she… was she doing okay?"

He knows Killian doesn't think so, but something about the pirate's dreams of his Mom just seems _more_ to him, more than a dream, but like a connection, as if somehow, someway he's able to reach her.

Killian stares up at the ceiling. "She was glorious."

"I don't understand…"

"Nor do I, kiddo," he sighs. "It was different from all the others I've had. We were back in the Enchanted Forest. We were happy."

Henry stares him down for a long while, trying to read him, but all he is getting out of Killian is that same wrecked look that he is doing a terrible job of hiding, and dark shadows under his eyes that indicate he's not sleeping well for reasons besides haunting dreams and surprise middle of the night visits.

It worries him.

"I'm staying here tonight," he declares.

"Ah, and leave your mother and her beau to find an empty bed in the morning?"

"I left a note," he mutters, petulant.

"Ah, a note, of course. That ought to keep your mother from killing me and grounding you for the rest of your life, surely? Why didn't I think of that?"

Despite himself, Henry feels himself start to smile, amused at the thought.

"Look at me," Killian orders, squatting to a height where they can look each other right in the eye. "I am not going to give your mother reason to keep you away from me, alright?"

Feeling warm, Henry nods. "Okay."

"And that means I've got to get you home to her. And you may want to consider cutting back on the sneaking out in the dead of night. I am here if you need me, no matter the time, but if it is the middle of the night, I have my talking phone that your Mom got me, and I even think I know how to answer it. And if you really need to see me when it's late, I think it might well be a better bet to awaken your mother and tell her, rather than sneak out all the time."

Henry shrugs. "I guess. She just… she won't understand!"

Killian smiles gently. "She's your mother. She loves you. She'll understand more than you think."

"I _know_ you understand though. You understand everything."

Something about that seems to leave Killian stricken, but he manages a weak smile. "I try."

"You _promise_ you're not going to bail on me?"

Killian shifts, balancing himself, and reaches out to put his hand on Henry's shoulder. "I give you my word, Henry. I'll never 'bail' on you. If you have need of me, I'll be there."

It feels like the first genuine smile he's had on his face in days, but it's there. "Thank you."

"Anytime, my boy. Now buck up. We've a mother to inform of your antics. Time to face the music, as I believe they say."

Henry groans.

Wincing in sympathy, Killian glances at his phone. "Best to just show up at your house, or call with advance warning, d'you reckon?"

"Call her. If we're waking her up either way, we're better off giving her time to calm down before she kills us."

"Quite," Killian agrees, looking as if walking off the plank would be a much more preferable option to making this phone call.

And indeed, when he does make it, Henry can hear Regina yelling _through_ the phone, which does not bode well.

It's just as well anyway.

For he's got a new plan that will likely get him into more trouble than he's ever been in his life, so he might as well be in buckets of trouble already.

He's got to do it though. He's decided.

For himself, and more importantly, for Killian.

It's time for him to go see his Mom.

Or, the Dark Swan that's taken over her body, at any rate.

* * *

The Darkness is satisfied.

There is simply so much more damage that can be done with this host than with the last.

So many people care about Emma Swan, there's so much love for her. It's easy, so wonderfully easy to wreck them all with it.

Not that there's no challenge, no. Swan puts up a delightful fight against the dark. Her hate and her fury of the force that's overtaken her, they're powerful.

Intoxicating to stomp out.

Still, she does not give up.

The Darkness respects it. Even fashions itself a fancy new name to honour the one fighting.

 _The Dark Swan_.

They all fear it, the creature that Emma Swan has become. Fear that they'll never be able to get their Emma back.

(They're right to.)

Emma Swan is powerful beyond measure in her own right. In her, the Darkness has found itself a worthy host such that it had not had in many millennia.

It does not intend to give her up.

Though she is welcome to put up one hell of a fight.

There is fun to be had, after all.

* * *

Even grounded for the rest of his natural life, it's easier than he thought it would be to sneak out of the house again.

Regina kind of has a lot going on after all, between working with his grandparents on the Camelot plan to the usual mayoring of Storybrooke. She cannot very well sit and stare at him all day, much as she may wish to.

No, his mother is out doing whatever she needs to do today. She's left Robin standing guard, of course, but Robin has a young and hyper son who happens to be on a sugar rush and running around the house.

And Henry Mills knows an opportunity when he sees it.

Robin runs upstairs chasing after his son, and Henry just strolls right out the front door.

He knows what he's doing, he decides as he walks. Or at least, he knows where he's going. His family might be doing their best to keep him out of everything that's going on, but he's not ignorant, nor is he naive.

He knows his Mom's yellow bug just showed up in front of _that_ house across town one day a couple weeks ago.

It's not exactly a stretch to come to the conclusion that the Dark Swan has taken refuge there.

You know, given the fact that it's both helpfully abandoned and also vaguely familiar to Emma.

So, she's there. He'll go there, find her, confront her. It. Whatever.

It's… something of a plan.

Not a good one, mind, and he thinks he knows that.

It's just something that needs to be done. For Killian.

He needs to get her to leave him alone.

If that means doing something he knows is dangerous, well, that's worth it to him.

Because he just cannot handle seeing that wrecked look on Killian's face anymore.

* * *

Checking in with Belle everyday has become habit, an ingrained part of his daily routine. He says hello, he asks how she is, and he accepts any new resources that she has managed to dig up for him to research.

Many days, she doesn't have anything new for him, and he accepts that too. She is trying, he knows. She is trying her best.

She looks worn out, actually, and he can't blame her for that.

He might have hated the crocodile for centuries, but _she_ loved him.

He actually can't help but wonder which of their situations is worse. Loving someone who is lost to them; or loving someone who is present and close but trapped within their own body.

It's a painful thing to ponder, he thinks, pitying the woman before him now.

"I'm sorry I don't have anything new today," Belle says, stumbling over the words. "I got distracted with something that I thought could've helped Rumple… it turned out to be another dead end, but I'd thought, I'd thought maybe…"

"Belle," he sighs, "have you gotten any sleep at all?"

"I… Some. Awhile ago," she tries.

He just looks at her, scolding.

"Not last night. I will. Soon. I just wanted to try a few more references. I'm so close to finding something that could help…"

"Belle."

"I sleep for a couple hours whenever I find something. I just haven't found anything in awhile, I can't sleep yet, but soon. It's enough. I'm getting enough."

"You're not getting near enough, Belle. You're dead on your feet. You _need_ to go get some sleep."

"How can you ask that of me?" she demands, a wildness to her expression that if anything only confirms how sleep deprived she is. "I haven't found anything new for you in days. I'm letting you down, I'm letting Emma down, I'm letting Rumple down…"

He seizes her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "You are not letting anyone down. You are doing your best. We all know this. But killing yourself over it does not help anyone. You. Need. To. Sleep."

She stares at him. "You really have changed."

Seeing that she seems to have snapped out of whatever panic attack she'd been having, he backs off, removing his hand from her shoulder to rub at his head, a nervous tic. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"The man you once were would not be here demanding for me to sleep. He'd be here wanting answers, wanting to know why I haven't found anything to save Emma yet. And he certainly wouldn't have accepted me splitting my time between researching for her and for Rumple."

He exhales, flustered. "He's your husband, Belle. It would not be right of me to expect you to just abandon him. Besides that, I can see the use in extending effort to awaken him. No one knows more about the Dark One than he."

Belle's lips twitch into a tiny smile. "As I said. Changed."

He huffs, but does not deny it. "Go to bed, Belle. Get some real sleep. And take a day or two away from the Dark One research. I've no right to ask you to step away from the research for your husband, but for Emma, I'm telling you to take a step away. I'll go over every detail of what I already have for the next couple days. We can regroup for more once you're better rested."

"Thank you, Killian. You're a good man."

At this, he smiles. "Try saying that in front of 'Stilskin. If anything is going to wake him up, that would do it."

He takes his leave, with relief, to the sound of her laugh.

Just as the door closes behind him, his cell phone goes off with the noise that tells him he has an incoming call.

His groan only worsens when the caller identification tells him it's Regina.

He ponders ignoring the call, then stiffens, angry at himself. Likely, if the once evil queen is bothering to call him, it must be about Henry.

And he'd made that boy a promise he has no intention of breaking.

"Regina?" he answers.

"Is Henry with you?" she demands, cutting right to the chase.

"What? No! I just left a meeting with Belle. I haven't seen Henry all morning."

"Damn it! If he's not with you then where the hell is he? He just ran out when Robin was distracted with Roland, and we both figured he'd just gone running back to you…"

He turns into a run towards the B&B. "Perhaps the boy is simply waiting for me back at my room. I'm heading back there now to try and find him. Let's not panic until we have to."

Regina hangs up with no further word, and he knows that she is as worried as he is.

Because Henry knows him, knows the schedule he's been keeping. He would have known that he would be out at Gold's shop meeting with Belle at this time of day. If Henry had truly run off to find him again, he would have gone to his grandfather's to meet up with him.

He hadn't.

He has no idea where his boy is.

And that much is a terror such that he has never felt before.

* * *

He doesn't wait or delay, when he gets to the house. To do so would be only to talk himself out of the whole thing.

No, he steps up to the door bravely and without hesitation, knocking at it a couple times as if anything about this is a normal situation and the Dark Swan would just open its door to anyone coming by to call.

Man, his life is absurd.

Laughing at himself, because it's easier to do that than cry or run, he reaches for the door handle, finding it unlocked, to his surprise.

A deep breath, in and out, and he pushes the door open.

"Hello?" he calls out, jumping slightly at the way that his own voice echoes in the huge empty space.

"Is anyone here? Mo.." he catches himself before he can finish the word, cutting off with a wince. This is such a mess.

If it was his Mom, she would be with him and Killian. She would not have left them. No, it's the Dark Swan he's looking for, and he has to remember that.

But damn if he'll give it the satisfaction of using its chosen name, his mother's bastardized name, to call for it.

"Dark One!" he snaps, finding his anger, far more comfortable with it than the fear. "Show yourself!"

No response, which is frustrating. He just wants to get this over with.

Maybe he should have stolen the dagger from Grams. It's not like he could be in more trouble. And it would make calling the Dark Swan a lot easier.

Too late now. Plus…

Henry shakes his head. He knows better. He doesn't want the dark power of the dagger in his hands.

He just wants this to be as easy as possible. He wants it to be done, so he can go home.

…Or go to see Killian, which he knows is what he'll actually be doing. While he's out, and all.

Something good to look forward to, after this unpleasantness. That's the plan, then.

He gazes around the front room with curious, yet wary eyes. It's so dark and empty now, the way that the Darkness has taken over it. Stark and cold and grey, it's a miserable place to be. It bothers him. It bothers him deeply, knowing how absolutely his Mom would hate it. Emma, wearer of red leather jackets and driver of yellow cars, she is colour. Emma, the Saviour, the wielder of the purest magic, she is light.

She would _hate_ this, and he hates it for her, he thinks, blinking back furious tears. He hates all of this for her.

And for him too. He hates everything so much, so fiercely, that he's not at sure he can hold it all inside of him. It feels too much, like he could just actually explode at any moment.

KillianKillianKillianKillianNeedKillianGoToKillian, he thinks, wild and desperate, and he frantically spins around to the door behind him.

Only to watch it slam shut.

And the Dark Swan step out from behind where it had been.

For a long time, they stare at each other in silence, and Henry feels his panic grow every second of it.

Killian had been holding back, he suddenly realizes. Had been trying to protect him, whenever he spoke of his encounters with this menacing… thing.

It wears Emma's face and body, but there is nothing of his Mom's soul in her eyes. None of her warmth, none of her love.

This was monumentally stupid, he understands now. Coming here was a colossal mistake. No one knows where he is.

And he is not safe.

* * *

"Well, well," the Darkness hisses. "I'd been wondering when I'd get to meet the prodigal son."

The boy has his hands up in the air, defensive posture. "I just want to go," he says, and the Darkness supposes Swan would be proud of the way his voice stays steady. The kid is clearly terrified, but brave too.

It's intriguing.

"I know I shouldn't have come," he continues.

"No," the Darkness agrees. "You should not have come. And so very alone…"

The panic writ large across the boy's face becomes clearer, more potent. "My Mom's boyfriend knows I'm here," he threatens. "He'll come for me. You don't want… you don't to mess with him when it comes to me. Just let me go, and no harm done."

My, my, but the boy thinks quickly.

If not quite quickly enough.

"The pirate let you come here alone? I think not. I think no one knows you are here, Henry Mills. I think you're a little liar."

His mouth opens, but nothing comes out of it.

Swan's body is shaking. It feels strange, out of control, but the Darkness determines that it's just the body shivering in reaction to the joy, the ecstasy of tormenting the child. Terror, pure, unadulterated terror, is such an intoxicating emotion.

It wants more, yes, it must simply want more.

"I've never liked lying," it muses, directing Swan's body towards the boy, stalking, ignoring its stiffness, the way it doesn't move properly. "I've always seen it as something that must be punished."

Now right in the boy's face, the Darkness basks in its triumph. "Are you afraid now, little boy?" it demands, wanting to know, wanting to hear it, as it raises an arm to hit the child.

Something goes wrong.

Pain, pain as if something is broken, something is splitting apart in its head, and it is agony, agony, the body won't do it, the body will not harm this child, and control is lost, no, no, no…

* * *

Something is happening, and Henry doesn't know what, but he knows this is his chance, he knows he should be running, but he just can't freaking make himself move, only stare in horror as this _thing_ shudders before him.

Her face suddenly twists into a murderous rage more terrifying than even the hand raised to him, frozen in place. "Lay one hand on my kid and I will end you!" she bellows.

Henry blinks; for a long moment it's simply not possible to comprehend what she'd just said, until it is, until it sinks in.

"Mom?" he breathes.

For her part, Emma Swan seems stunned, staring down at herself as if she can't quite believe she's in control of her own body.

Which, Henry realizes quickly, is probably exactly what's going on here.

Because this is her. Really, really her.

His hands, reflexively balled into fists out of fear while the Dark Swan threatened him unclench equally as fast as they balled up in the first place. He flexes his fingers once, twice, three times, swearing that he can feel absolute joy infusing every last extremity of his body. It's like he's melting, or puddling or something, whatever, it doesn't matter.

Emma's all that does now.

"Mom!" he cries again, running full tilt at her, throwing his arms around her neck.

Emma catches him, perhaps more by reflex than anything else, but she does. She's always caught him, he thinks, if often right when he needed it more than anything.

She still seems in disbelief, movements slow and sluggish, but her arms come up to wrap around his back eventually, and she holds him tight.

He's almost as tall as she is, now. He wonders when that happened. He hadn't thought it had been that long.

He'll overtake her, soon, if this growth spurt he's been having continues at its pace. He looks forward to it. The taller he gets, the bigger, the better off he is at keeping her safe.

He hopes someday he'll be so big no one will ever dare mess with her again, for fear of him.

Emma exhales, a little hum of a sigh, and her hand moves up from his back to cup the back of his head, just for a second, before she lets go of him completely, taking a single step away from him, far enough that he can see her glare.

He's not worried. It's still Mom. This is a Mom glare.

(He never thought he could be so happy to see a Mom glare.)

"What the hell kid?" she demands. "What are you doing here? Have you any idea how dangerous this was for you?"

"I figured out quick," he admits, sheepish.

"You think?" she asks, dryly, and for a moment, it's as if nothing had changed at all, she sounds so perfectly normal, so exactly _his_ Emma, his Mom, and he knows she must realize that too, because her face just crumbles.

None of this is normal.

"You could've been hurt. You _would_ have been hurt if…"

"I wasn't!" Henry interrupts, voice cracking in his desperation. "You wouldn't let it happen. You came back, you protected me, the way you always do."

"I'm not me right now, Henry! The darkness, it is powerful, and it is intense, and we both got really lucky that I was able to fight it off for awhile when I saw you in danger."

"Fight it off for awhile? But… you're you again! Right now, you're my Mom, you're right here in front of me, it's over!"

The raw devastation on her face twists his stomach up in knots.

"Isn't it?" he asks, voice tiny.

"I really wish it was, kid," she sighs, and he swallows roughly with the realization that his Mom is trying really, really hard not to cry.

(Parents aren't supposed to cry.)

"I wish it were that simple," Emma continues. "But the darkness, it's still there, it's in me. I can feel it right now, every second, pushing at me. It wants the control back. It's angry that I took it. And I'm not going to be able to hold it back for too much longer. So as much as I'm really… I'm so happy to see you again, kid, so glad I got to hold you again, but I've got to get you out of here."

She's not the only one trying not to cry anymore.

"Maybe… maybe I should stay. With you, all the time, I should stay. I got you out of the darkness, Mom, maybe if I'm here you'll stay out of it. I should just never leave."

Emma's already shaking her head. "It's not safe, kid. It's my job to protect you, remember? Even if that means protecting you from me."

"But I need you!"

"And I need you, Henry, more than you'll ever know. Which is why I need you safe. We can't be together right now, not when I'm a risk to you. I'm gonna… I'm gonna call Regina, get her to come get you…"

"No!"

"Henry…"

"If I've got to go, can't you at least take me, so we can spend a little more time together? You have no idea how hard it's been without you, how much I've missed you."

Emma's hands shake before she can hide them behind her back, and he thinks he's got her.

He's known it for a long time: if it's in Emma's Swan's power to give, she'd never deny him anything.

"Okay, kid. We can do that."

* * *

It's a little strange, getting into her old bug in the Dark Swan's heavy black gown, but she hadn't been willing to waste what little time she has left as herself in order to change into something normal. No, the priority is getting Henry home safe.

She can hold on that long.

She has to.

Henry is quiet as he joins her in the car, and she swears she feels her heart clench.

She'd never wanted to do this to him. Never. But what choice had she had? Either way, he'd have been losing a mother to the darkness and she…

Well, everyone was well aware that she probably had a better chance at fighting the darkness than Regina would have had.

But God, the last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt her son, and yet that's all she seems to be doing.

The look on his face when she'd told him he had to leave… that kind of pain does not belong on the face of one so young. He'd looked wrecked, well and truly wrecked, and she'd felt about as awful as she ever had in her life.

All her kid wanted was to be with his Mom. It wasn't fair that he couldn't have that, that she couldn't _let_ him have that.

Her poor boy was obviously having such a hard time.

She doesn't want to know. But she needs to.

"Can you tell me about how things have been… since I've been gone?"

Henry shrugs. "Mom and Robin are in a good place. He and Roland have pretty much moved in. They really love each other. It's cool. Zelena seems to have gone into a depression or something, pretty much just given up. I'm not supposed to know that, but I eavesdrop on everyone a lot so I can actually find out what's going on. Mom goes over to see her a lot to make sure she at least takes care of herself enough to keep the baby healthy. She says the baby is part of Robin, so of course she cares about it. I think that made Robin really happy. But other than that, Zelena's not bothering anyone at all, so that's good. And Mom spends a lot of time over at the loft with Grams and Gramps, working on the plan to save you. They're all trying to negotiate with Camelot, apparently there's some kind of magic that could help… I think they're trying to get in to see Merlin or something. Which, not so easy to do. But they're really trying. Grams and Gramps, they really miss you a lot. They're spending all their time either taking care of the baby, or working on the plans to get you back, so they're not taking any time for themselves. I think it's been hard on them, even though no one says so to me. But the baby's fine. Growing like crazy. He tries to talk a little bit, but he hasn't figured out how to say my name yet, other than 'En'y' which is pretty funny. I try to stop by to see Leo…"

"Leo?" Emma interrupts.

"Oh… I guess that's new to you? I keep forgetting how long you've been… gone. Um, yeah, calling the baby 'Neal' was always a little weird for me, because of Dad, you know? And I just… I don't know, I don't seem to have a filter lately, I just say what I think. And I just… I asked Grams if I could call the baby by his middle name, because I'd be more comfortable with that. She was fine with it. But 'Leopold' seemed like a big name for a little baby, so I just started calling him 'Leo'. And it kind of grew on everyone. We all kind of just call him Leo now. It's like the one good thing I've done lately."

"Henry…"

"It's okay. It is, Mom," he sighs. "But yeah, like I was saying, I want him to know me, so I try to stop by the loft to see Leo at least once a week. Grams and Gramps too, of course. I don't know… I don't know if it helps them to see me, or if it hurts, if I'm just a walking reminder of you. I hope it doesn't hurt. I don't want… I don't want to hurt anyone else, you know? I hurt enough myself."

He sniffs, introspective for a moment, before forcing a smile. "And that… that's the family. That's the update."

He gets quiet again after all that, though his mouth was open for a second as if he was going to say something else.

"And?" she prompts. He'd been quick and eager to talk to that point, the words just spilling out of him, so it's odd that he would just suddenly clam back up.

Unless whatever he was going to say next, he thought might hurt her.

She closes her eyes, just for a second.

Henry hadn't had any qualms over telling her how hard it's all been on him, so for him to not want to say anything now…

"Killian," she sighs, and it sounds like a prayer even to her own ears.

Henry wraps his arms around himself, a protective stance if she's ever seen one, but still doesn't say anything. She winces.

"The darkness… it was cruel to him. Vicious. He was hurt…"

"Yeah. He was."

She winces at that, at Henry's flat agreement, but knows it's no less than what she deserves. "How is he?"

Henry smiles, a bitter, mocking smile that she has never seen on her son's face before. "You haunt him. That's why I showed up, I was angry about what you were doing to him, and I didn't think, and I just stormed over. I wanted you to stop, I wanted you to leave him alone. Because during the day, he constantly relives what the Dark Swan does to him, and at night, he constantly dreams of you. No escape. He's not good, Mom, but he keeps it together for me, because he's been so busy keeping me sane."

She'd been carefully staring out at the road as she drove, but at this last comment, she can't help but look over quickly at her son.

He takes the cue.

(Start talking.)

"I haven't… I haven't been alright since you disappeared. I've been really angry, and I haven't been able to control it that good. And you know, Gramps and Grams, they understand the feeling, I know that, they've been just as scared and feeling useless and mad about it, but they _can_ _'_ _t_ fall apart. They have the baby that they have to keep it together for. And I know Mom's been there with those kinds of feelings, so she obviously gets it, she understands, and she's worried about you too even if she doesn't say it so much, but she's got… she's got this family, and this life that she's starting to put together, and it's really starting to look like she's found her happy ending. And I'm happy for her, I am, but she doesn't feel the _hate_ anymore, doesn't let the bad feelings touch her, and that's a good thing, except now I feel all this ugliness inside of me and it's like I can't even be around her anymore or I'll infect her. She's happy, she's _good_ , and I'm not."

"You feel like she can sympathize but not empathize," she suggests softly.

Henry shrugs again. "I guess."

"But Killian's different?"

"He doesn't give me the disappointed look when I freak out. He lets me yell, encourages it actually. I threw a fit in front of everyone one day, and Killian, he just got me out of there, made me walk it off with him, but he didn't get angry at all. He said that we're all going through hell with this, but you and I were so close, that I'm the most important person in the world to you, so of course it's even worse for me than anyone else can imagine or understand, and I'm thirteen years old while I'm at it and that just makes everything even more messed up. He said sometimes I'll need to yell, and it's probably better to do that, to let it all out, and that I can go to him when I need to freak out."

She swallows, several times in a row, but God if it doesn't feel like she's got cotton in her throat.

She'd known he loved her, but this… doing this for her kid is on a whole other level.

"So that's what you do, then?" she asks, voice rough. "You go to Killian to yell and freak out?"

Henry shakes his head. "No. I mean… yeah, I go to him when I'm in a rage, but it's like… the second I see him, I just calm right down because he _gets_ it. He doesn't have a baby depending on him to keep him together, or a happy ending right in front of him to make everything okay. He lost just as much as I did when you disappeared, if not more, because even though I can't really deal with any of them right now, I still have all this other family, and he just had… you. Sometimes he opens the door, and he looks like a mess, like someone who's had everything and just had to watch it disappear. He's not happy, not even faking it, and that helps me. I can just talk to him. I don't have to yell, because I've got nothing to be mad at him for. He understands all of it. And I don't know, but it feels like I help him too, because I'm the link to you. And it's not even just that he's taking care of me because he knows you'd want him to, it's because _he_ wants to. He actually talks to me, tells me a little about what's going on, and he listens to me, and we sit on the floor of his room at Granny's for hours sometimes, missing you together, and I feel like I'm actually supposed to be there. And I'm not angry anymore. I'm not happy either, obviously. But the anger goes away for a little while, and I can just _be_."

For a long moment, they just sit there quietly, her staring out at the road trying to ignore how her hands shake on the wheel, and Henry looking out the window.

"Plus, he sneaks us down into the kitchen sometimes and makes me pancakes like you taught him," he adds suddenly, almost sounding cheerful about it.

God, she is going to burst into tears right here, isn't she?

Her boys. Her poor, beautiful, broken boys.

She'd known she'd be wrecking them, but… she'd somehow never imagined them being wrecked together.

Nor had she ever imagined an eventuality in which they would be the ones putting each other back together, until now.

Henry might not see it yet, but she can, clear as day.

They're becoming family.

And she's not there.

* * *

His Mom is struggling. She's doing her best to hide it, but he knows her. He knows her so well.

He knows her well enough not to say anything, not yet. She needs to work out how she feels about everything, so he sits quietly, and waits.

They've made it back to Regina's house and the car has been parked out front for a couple minutes before Emma finally says anything.

"I'm glad you and Killian have each other," she finally murmurs, so quietly he has to lean towards her seat to hear it. "I'm glad you can be there for each other like that."

"Me too. I never… I never expected it. I was always… I accepted him for you. That was it. But losing you, from the moment you disappeared… he tried to call you back right away, with the dagger, you know? And you didn't come, you were really gone, and he looked over at me, and he looked as destroyed as I felt, and it was like we suddenly understood each other. And that just didn't stop. We're both messed up, Mom, without you… but we both get it. We just keep on understanding each other. I don't… I don't really know what I would have done without him."

"Don't find out," she whispers. "Keep… keep going to him. He's always had my back, kid, and now he's having yours for me. You both need that. And I… I need to know you have it. It will help me to know that you two are there for each other."

Tears blind him, choke him, so suddenly his throat burns with it and he feels like he could be sick. "You're saying goodbye now, aren't you?"

Emma, crying too, stares at him, so intently he feels sure that she's memorizing his face. "Yeah, kid," she tells him, "I'm not going to be able to hold the darkness back much longer. It's going to take me away again soon. You need to go now."

"And you need to fight," he says fiercely, not even bothering to fight the tears anymore. "You need to fight, Mom, because we all need you back. Grams and Gramps and the baby and Killian and _me_ , we all really need you. We need you to come back to us. So you need to fight. You need to fight like…" he cuts himself off, realization sickening him. "… Like you said you would when you first took the control away from the Darkness, when it was going to hurt me. You said you would 'end' the Darkness."

She closes her eyes. Something tells him she'd hoped that he wouldn't have caught that.

"Mom," he says warily. "How did you plan on doing that?"

Emma won't lie to him. Not anymore. He knows that.

Eyes still closed, she mutters. "Tear it to shreds from the inside out."

"What would that do to you?" he asks, sure that he doesn't want to know, but needing to anyway.

Emma says nothing, and that's his answer.

"Mom!" he cries. "No!"

Opening her eyes back up, the look in them is intent and fierce. "I'm your mother, Henry. If it's a choice between you and me, it will always, always be you. I will fight. I promise you, I will fight to come back from this. I'm not giving up. But you need to keep yourself safe. Because it's you, kid. It's always going to come down to you."

Sobbing, beyond words, he throws his arms around his Mom.

She holds him back just as tight, and for a moment, even when his world is crashing down around him, he feels safe.

But Emma shudders and stiffens in his grip, and he thinks that no good thing can last.

She pushes him away then, gently, so he knows it's still her, but he's not sure how much longer it will be.

"Go!" she yells at him, and hearing the desperation, he listens, he flings his door open, runs out of the car, runs away from his Mom, and hates himself for it.

"I love you!" he screams, hoping she hears it, not daring to look back to see if she does. "Fight, Mom! Fight! _I love you_. I love you so much."

He runs, he loves, and oh God, he hurts.

* * *

The Darkness is in a fury.

Emma Swan's willingness and ability to fight had far exceeded expectations, and her efforts had not only saved the boy, but had left the body exhausted and weak. Nothing could be done until it recuperated.

The Darkness does not like being forced into retreat.

Swan will pay. She will suffer.

But somewhere deep in there, Emma knows she will not give up. That she can fight, and triumph.

If this is a war, she just took a battle. She and the Darkness both know this.

But the Darkness does not understand love, and so it cannot comprehend that not only did she win the battle, so too did Emma Swan just take an ammo drop.

 _I love you! Fight, Mom! Fight! I love you. I love you so much._

She heard him. Her beautiful, amazing, strong boy. She has one hell of a kid, she knows. And she's _not_ going to lose him.

 _I love you too, Henry. It always comes down to you._

The Darkness is a terrible force to be reckoned with.

But so is a mother protecting her child. So is Emma Swan.

And unlike the Darkness, she's got cavalry.

* * *

He's not entirely sure how he manages to get himself inside the house. He only just does it, dragging himself inside the front door, closing it, and then promptly collapsing back against it as his legs give out.

He thinks he needs to scream, thinks maybe he should go find Killian, but cannot even imagine finding the strength to pick himself up and go do it.

Maybe he'll just sit here forever and wait for someone to find him.

And as if that thought conjures him up somehow, Robin immediately comes running out of the other room, fury and worry and relief all mingling together in his expression.

"Where on earth have you been?" he demands. "Have you any idea…"

Not able to deal with it, Henry stands up, picking himself up with a strength he didn't know he had, wipes his face clear of tears, and cuts the older man off.

It takes effort, effort to look at Robin evenly, effort to keep his voice steady, effort to not explode, but he does it. "Robin," he says carefully. "You're a good guy. You love my mother. I respect that. I respect you. But you need to leave me the hell alone right now."

And he knows that Robin stares after him, blankly stunned, but when Henry runs up the stairs and into his room, thank God, he does not follow.

* * *

Having progressed straight to panic when, as expected, Henry was not waiting for him at his room at Granny's, he'd begun a frantic search of what seemed like half the town, with no luck. Regina had had the unenviable task of surreptitiously checking with the Charmings, in the unlikely situation that Henry had run off to them, somehow without letting them know that there was a problem, for they did not want to worry the boy's grandparents until they had to. Quite frankly, Snow and Charming already had enough on their plate with a suddenly granted audience with King Arthur to prepare for.

Again as expected though, Henry had not been at the loft. With neither of them successful in finding the kid, he and Regina had just met up to coordinate who would search what next when Regina gets the call from Robin telling her that Henry was back at the house, safe, but obviously devastated over something and refusing to talk.

This, of course, had resulted in nothing less than a mad dash by both of them to get back to the house, to Henry.

The advantage in pure foot speed had him there first, throwing the front door open against the wall with a massive crash that he could not find it himself to give one damn about, running straight past a startled Robin without a single word, and pounding his way up the stairs, and busting his way into Henry's room without bothering to knock.

The boy looks up, startled, from where - his heart clenches - he'd clearly been crying into his pillow. And for a second or two, Henry only stares at him blankly, as if not able to reconcile that it's actually him, but just when Killian found himself beginning to worry that the boy was in shock, the moment ends, and Henry charges off the bed and flings himself into his arms, just in time for Regina to arrive and see it all over his own shoulder.

For his part, Henry does not seem to notice his mother's arrival, but then, it would be difficult to, considering he's busy clinging to him and sobbing into his shoulder.

At a loss, Killian can only rub the boy's back and murmur soothing nonsense into his ear.

"It's alright, I'm here, it will all be alright, I'm not going anywhere, I've got you, you've got me, I'm here."

"You can't ever leave," Henry finally chokes out. "You have no idea how much I need you."

"I'm not leaving, kiddo. I promise you. It's you and me in it together, right?"

With a loud sniffle, the boy nods his head, and Killian thinks he might finally be calming.

"Come now, lad. Let's you and me go and sit down."

Henry follows him over to his bed willingly enough, and he's able to get him situated back against his pillows, but when he goes to take a seat on the bed himself, just in front of Henry, seconds later the boy had scrambled over to sit beside him and, to his absolute shock, rest his head upon his own shoulder.

He refuses to let himself stiffen in his surprise, and his reward for his restraint is feeling the boy go boneless as he finally relaxes somewhat, and snuggles in closer.

Turning his head just slightly to glance back at the door, he finds Regina absolutely frozen in shock, and Robin just behind her, clearly stunned himself, but reaching an arm out to touch his true love's shoulder in connection, in comfort.

Killian feels for her, truly, but there's nothing he can do for her now, but to do the best that he can for her son, and if that means being the one Henry turns to to be soothed, that's exactly what he's going to do.

"I'm so tired," Henry says softly. "I wish this would all end. That we could just do something and make the hurt go away for all of us."

Worried, he looks down at the boy now resting, eyes closed, on his shoulder. He truly does look exhausted, like he's just ready to give up completely, and that scares him. He does not like the look on such an innately hopeful boy.

Something has happened, he knows, something awful. And as much as he suspects he does not want to know, the role he's in now as someone Henry has decided to trust - his confidant - demands it.

Furthermore, Regina is not going to let this slide without answers, and something tells him Henry is far more likely to talk if he's the one asking the questions.

"Kiddo?" he prompts. "You've got to talk to me. Tell me what happened."

Henry lifts his head up but says nothing, only glances warily back at the door towards Regina and Robin, shaking his head and staying silent as he leans back down onto his shoulder.

"No, don't do that," he scolds lightly. "Your mother and Robin, you know they're here for you too, just like I am. They want what's best for you. They don't like seeing you like this anymore than I do. But whatever has happened here, we can't fix it unless you tell us about it."

"They're going to be mad," Henry mumbles. "Everyone is gonna be so mad. Maybe even you."

"I think I'm going to have to ask for you to tell me, and let me decide for myself, kiddo. But I'll tell you what, it doesn't matter if I am angry. I'm still going to be here. I promised, remember? And I always keep my promises, because a man's word is everything. It's you and me, kiddo, no matter what."

Henry stares up at him for what feels like a very long time, likely attempting to ascertain his own sincerity. Whatever he sees seems to convince him, because he finally swallows nervously, closes his eyes, and mumbles, "I went to see Mom."

Killian goes absolutely still, as if in a dream, trapped, unable to move. It feels that way, somehow. Feels as though reality has become blurred, as though nothing said or done here and now could possibly be real.

"You did _what_?" Regina demands.

Henry flinches.

"How dare you do such a thing?"

"Regina!" Killian snaps, finding his voice for Henry's sake as the boy presses himself deeper against him as if trying to disappear. "You are not helping!"

"I'm not trying to help," she hisses, slapping away Robin's hand as he tries to calm her, pull her back. " _My son_ is long past help right now. What in the hell were you thinking?"

Henry is obviously trying not to cry anymore, but seems to be fighting a losing battle as he looks up and makes eye contact with his mother. "I was thinking I wanted to see my Mom. I _needed_ to see her."

"And that's it, then? No thought given to the danger you were putting yourself in, to what it would do to me if you'd been hurt?"

"You don't have to tell me this," he mumbles. "I've already heard it all from Mom."

This time, all three of them freeze.

Perhaps sensing that Regina is beyond words and Killian may never speak again, Robin snaps out of it first. "What do you mean, you heard it all from your Mom, Henry? Do you mean… was the Dark Swan protective of you somehow?"

Henry shakes his head. "The Darkness was awful. Threatening and vicious. It would have hurt me. Mom didn't let it."

"This is absurd," Regina mutters.

"I'm telling the truth!"

"Then you were in danger," Regina says, voice shaking. "Danger that you walked straight into, with none of us having any idea where you were. You just walked out of this house - when you were _grounded_ \- and decided to just pop a visit to a known dark villain who would try to hurt you."

"It wasn't that bad…"

"Tell that to the hysterical breakdown I just watched you having!"

"I was crying for Mom!" Henry snarls, clearly past his breaking point. "I was crying because Mom _saved me_ but I wasn't able to save her. I wasn't able to do anything! She didn't let the Darkness lay a hand on me, she got me out of there, she got me home safe. She talked to me, and held me, and for a little while, I was able to have my Mom back and it was _wonderful_. But she couldn't hold the Darkness off for long, and she told me to run and it made her disappear, and what could I do for her after everything she did for me? NOTHING! I just left her, I let the Darkness take her again. I just ran away. From _my Mom._ So, you know what, do your worst. Ground me for six life sentences, never let me leave my room again, I don't care, I don't care, because _nothing_ you can possibly do to me would ever make me feel worse than I already feel for what I did to my Mom."

"Your Mom wouldn't want you thinking like that," Killian finally murmurs. "You know how much you mean to her. She would do anything for you, kiddo, and she wouldn't want you thinking that you need to repay her somehow for it."

"But she basically said she would die for me. She said that if it came down to a choice between her and me, it would always be me. She said that, those words!"

"She's your Mom, kiddo. Of course she did. That's what parents do. I rather think Regina here would say the same. That's why she's so scared and so angry right now. Because parents should be willing to do anything for their children. That's the way it's supposed to be."

"But…"

"There's no 'but' about this one, Henry. I know it scares you. I know you don't want to think about it. _I_ don't want to think about it. But she's the parent, you're the kid, and it's a parent's job to put their children first. That's what Emma's trying to do right now."

"You believe me, then?" Henry asks, something akin to hope coming back into his voice. "That I'm not making it up, that Mom really did come back for a little while?"

"I do not believe that you could ever lie about something like that. But beyond that, I know you don't lie to me, period. We need to have trust between us, you and me. That's how this works. Aye, of course I believe you."

"Thank you," he whispers.

Killian manages at least a half smile, for the boy's sake. "Always. _But_ , lad, I think you ought tell us everything that happened today. Every detail. Perhaps there's something that could help us help your Mom."

Henry shrugs. "There's really not much more to tell. I snuck out of here when Robin was distracted with Roland, I walked 'cross town to get to the house, I walked in, called out asking if anyone was there. No one answered, I started to get creeped out, realized it probably wasn't my best idea ever to be there. I just wanted to go to you, so I turned to leave, and the Darkness was suddenly just _there_ , in front of me. It wouldn't let me leave, it was threatening me, and it lifted an arm to pull back and hit me, and then it went all weird. It was like it was in terrible pain or something, but nothing was happening, it was all in its own head, and then… Mom was there. She had the control, not the Darkness, because Mom was not going to let it hurt me."

"What did she say?" Killian asks quietly.

"It was like she was talking to the Darkness. She yelled that she would 'end you' if it touched me, and that's when we both froze, because it was Mom and neither of us could really believe it. I guess I snapped out of it first, and I ran to give Mom a hug, and she hugged me _back_."

"I reckon that felt good?"

"Like you wouldn't believe. She was there, she was real, she was holding me, and it was like for the first time in ages everything was good. I mean, she was mad at me too, but that was okay, because of course she'd be mad at what I did, risking myself. That's how it's supposed to be."

"Then what?" Regina jumps in to ask, the temper finally out of her voice. "Because somehow you managed to back here, safe, if emotionally devastated."

"Mom drove me. She said I couldn't stay with her, because it wasn't safe for me. I wanted to. I thought if I just stayed with her forever, I could make everything better. Because she fought off the Darkness for me, so I thought if I was just always with her, it would never come back. But it wasn't like that. She could feel it, inside of her, wanting to take control again. She said it was really angry at her. It didn't like that she'd fought it off. But she kept fighting it off anyway, long enough to get me back here, long enough for us to talk for awhile, to say some things we needed to say to each other."

Henry's face falls then, so completely he looks near tears once more. Killian squeezes his hand, trying to encourage him, even when he knows beyond a doubt that he does not want to hear what came next.

"Mom told me she'd tear the Darkness apart from the inside out if she had to. She said it with certainty, like it was something she had no doubt she could do. It would destroy her, Killian, it would destroy her too. And I told her she couldn't do that, not to us, but that's when she said that in a choice between her and me, she would always choose me. I didn't… I didn't want to leave her. I didn't ever want to leave her. But I had to, because the Darkness was taking over again, and she held on long enough to tell me to run, and I did. I ran, and I didn't look back, because I didn't want to see what happened. But I told her, Killian, I promise. I told her I love her, I told her to fight, I told her we needed her."

"I know you did, kiddo," he whispers.

Henry nods, then, clearly spent, closes his eyes and rests his head back on his own shoulder once more. "I don't know what happened to Mom after that," he mutters. "I'm sorry."

Shaking his head, he pulls the boy in even closer and wraps him in a tight hug. "Not your fault."

"The car is still outside," Robin interjects, "but it's empty. I went out and checked. There's no sign of Emma or… the Dark Swan. It's as if she just completely disappeared. Again."

Killian can only stare at the other man blankly. He hadn't even noticed him leave. Nor, now that he thought about it, had he noticed the yellow bug when he arrived, though if he's being honest with himself, he'd had rather tunnel vision for Henry at the time.

"That's just great," Regina scoffs, "very helpful, as always. She's vanished into thin air, left our traumatized son behind…"

"Do not berate Emma right now," Killian says evenly, but with a warning note so obvious in his voice even Henry tenses against him.

To her credit, Regina takes a moment to gather herself before speaking again. "What am I to do with the car?"

"I think by rights that should be Henry's call," he replies.

"I don't want it here," Henry says immediately. "Not without her. Can't we just… take it back to the house? No one has to go in to see her… the Darkness. Just drop the car off out front."

"The keys _are_ there," Robin volunteers quietly. "It would be easy enough for someone to do."

"Then we'll do that," Regina decides. "I'll take it over, or we'll get one of the Charmings to do it. We'll get it out of here, Henry."

"Thank you."

The gratitude in Henry's voice is sincere, but listless, and Regina's face falls slightly, the worry taking over. She rallies though, clasping her hands together, perhaps taking on a bit of a Queen's mask as she turns back to Killian and announces, "Well, now that we've got everything sorted regarding Emma, it's a family matter now, so if you would show yourself out…"

Rolling his eyes, but acquiescing to get up off Henry's bed anyway and prepare to take his leave, he is once again caught wildly off guard when Henry lunges forward and throws his arms around his own waist.

"No!" the boy yells, clinging to him.

"Henry?"

"I want to go with you," Henry tells him, voice breaking just enough to make it sound the next thing to a whimper. "Please, Killian, can I stay with you?"

He hadn't thought anything could stun him more than the news of Emma's temporary re-appearance, but this does it.

The boy is serious, he knows, as he stares down at him, feeling how tightly he hangs onto him. His eyes are pleading with him, and Gods, does he ever look like Bae did at that age.

He tries hard not to think about how much it gets to him that _this boy_ wants him.

He could be that person, he knows. He'd wanted to be that person for hundreds of years now.

But is it his place to be that person for Henry? The boy had family, had _parents_ every which way. Biological and adopted and let's be honest, soon-to-be step. Parents whose relationship to his own self varied from loving (she'd said it, she'd said it, she'd _said it_ ) to disliking and distrusting to ridiculous levels of complicated. Bloody hell, he was _Bae's_ son.

Henry had parents to spare.

And then he has him. And what is he to Henry, besides the man who loved Emma too?

But is that what Henry needs right now anyway? To be with the person who loved Emma as much, as desperately, as he did?

And truthfully, it's not even just about Emma. It hasn't been for a very long time.

Oh, he loved her, of course. With everything he had in him. To the end of the world.

He'd just never expected to love her son too.

But Gods, he did.

He'd thought of him as 'his boy' only hours earlier, hadn't he? The second he'd known Henry was missing, that had been his only thought, only purpose. He'd had to find his boy.

Was it truly any wonder that Henry would get attached to him the way he had to the kid?

And what is he supposed to say to him, now, when he doesn't even know what to think or how to feel?

"Kiddo," he tries to start.

"Don't answer that," Regina hisses, looking about as uncomposed as he's ever seen her. "Don't you dare. This is not even a question. Henry is _my_ son. He belongs with me. And you need to leave."

"Not without me," Henry interjects. " _Please_ , Killian. _Mom_. I can't… I just can't anymore."

"What is this even about, Henry?" Regina demands. "I thought we were in a good place, I thought…"

"We _are_ , Mom," Henry insists. "And I want to stay that way. I don't… I don't feel like me right now. I'm a mess, and I know that, and I'm going to wreck everything. I'm going to hurt us both, if I'm here. And I don't want to do that. I'm not asking this of you to hurt you, Mom. I don't ever want to hurt you."

"Then _why_?"

"Because when I'm with Killian I feel like I'm on solid ground," Henry says softly. "And I feel like I might actually be able to put one foot in front of the other. I don't feel that way anywhere or with anyone else anymore, since Mom's been gone. Just him. That's why I keep running to him. And I'll keep running to him if you make me stay here. But I'd like to think you won't, that you'll understand, that you'll let me do this. You'll let me go. It wouldn't be forever. Just… just give me time to feel okay again."

The devastation on Regina's face is so painfully obvious that Killian wants to turn away, wants not to be looking at it, to see it. It's too private, too hers, too raw. Robin too looks wrecked, unable to do anything to fix this for his True Love and her feelings besides be there for her, be with her.

Yes, he wants desperately to look away, but for the first time, Regina turns away from her son to glance over at him, and in practically the same moment from the corner of his eye, Killian sees a wild kind of hope enter Henry's expression.

And he knows what he must do.

He clears his throat, but cannot keep the emotion out of his voice when he finally says, "The lad will always be welcome with me. Should he have your permission, I would have no problem with Henry coming to stay with me."

Regina closes her eyes, pained, but opens them back up immediately when Henry leans forward to grab her hands.

"Mom," he whispers, "I love you. But right now… I need him. Please."

Regina stares at her son for a very long time, before she finally looks up to pin Killian with a glare.

"If we do this," she starts, suddenly sounding like herself again, harsh and regal, "there are going to be conditions."

He keeps his face stoic, but still he wonders if they know, if Henry and Regina and even Robin can tell, if they can see, the desperate and absolute joy that flows through him now, such that he hasn't felt since they'd lost Emma.

He doesn't have her.

But he's got their boy.

* * *

He has to have dinner at his Mom's three times a week and call home to check in every single night just before he goes to sleep, so she'll know he's safe in bed. To that matter, he has a newly set bedtime of 9:30, which is just one of many facets to the truly spectacular grounding he had not been able to escape - not that he'd expected to.

He has conditions and rules and privileges revoked going every which way.

And he doesn't care.

He's with Killian. That's all that matters to him.

The room at the bed and breakfast that Killian had been staying in had been magically transformed into a small two bedroom apartment, in Regina's efforts to get the place, in her words, 'habitable'. Still, their place is tiny, especially compared to the mansion that he grew up in, and even compared to his grandparents' loft that he'd spent so much time in. Where he'll be staying now, it's literally just their two bedrooms, a washroom to be shared between them, and a small shared living space including a kitchen.

Henry adores it.

While Regina had gone wielding magic around the space ensuring that the kitchenette had the basics and the important extras - _you're having a dishwasher, I can't see either one of you making any great effort to wash the dishes regularly by hand and there's no way my son is going to be living with stacks of dirty dishes everywhere_ \- a shellshocked Killian had been staring at the room that Henry would be calling his own and quietly asking what colour was Henry's favourite so they could get properly coloured linens for his bed.

Regina had of course later magicked up a comforter and sheets in his preferred blue. Shopping wasn't needed when a parent could make everything appear out of thin air.

There'd been a brief flicker in Killian's eyes, something akin to regret, before he'd smiled and thanked Regina for everything she was doing. Regina had of course pointed out that she was doing it for her son, but Killian still kept that smile on his face and said he appreciated it nonetheless.

Henry had forgotten all about it, until he came back from school on his first Monday living with Killian, and found a bedroom with walls now the perfect blue of the ocean, and a pirate covered head to hook to toe in specks of paint.

He'd done that for him.

He hadn't known what to say, besides thank you, and Killian had come over quite red at that, saying that it was nothing.

But there was no denying how pleased the man had looked when he'd told him that he'd somehow picked his very favourite shade of blue.

 _Mine as well_ , he'd mumbled under his breath, perhaps not intending for Henry to hear at all, but he had, and he'd grinned.

Tiny thing though it is, it's something else they share.

* * *

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into a month.

Eventually, the months turn into a year, the years turn into a lifetime.

The passing of time was once something he never paid attention to. Hell, if he had, he probably would have lost his bloody mind. The years, after all, had turned into centuries for him. Centuries with nothing to keep him going but a desperate thirst for vengeance.

That's not anything to live on, or for.

It had changed, when he came to Storybrooke. Maybe even before that, if he's being honest with himself. Since he'd met Emma. Because as much as he'd felt betrayed at the time by what she'd done in the giant's lair, Gods, he'd felt alive too.

He'd felt that way ever since. He'd started living again. The desire for revenge had still been with him, oh, yes it was, but it stopped feeling like he could just kill the imp and then die happily. No, he wasn't done living yet, not now that he'd been reminded what it felt like to truly do so.

And so time got meaning back.

And days turn into weeks, weeks turn into a month.

They're putting together a life.

It's not permanent. They both know it.

But damn it, it _feels_ like something that could be.

They've found something here, built it, the two of them, together. Something good, something big, something beautiful.

Something that they'd both needed, more than they could have known.

Henry had wanted to be back on solid ground. And in asking for that, he'd grounded both of them.

He'd brought them home.

The loss of Emma is still felt fiercely, of course. Things had not gone as well as they would have hoped in the Charmings' work with King Arthur. They'd gotten along brilliantly, of course, the prince and princess being two of the most absurdly likeable people he'd ever encountered in any realm, and King Arthur had immediately become fond of Charming in particular, but it's not the King that they have to convince. It's Merlin, and the Mage is not one to grant favours just because the King asks him nicely. It's progress, of course, to have made this connection with the Camelot regent, but there is still so much work to be done.

Snow and Charming remain optimistic, but the bottom line, for Killian and Henry, is that they still don't have Emma back. They both miss her something desperate, to the point of panic at times, but it helps them both to have each other, especially during those hardest times. Henry sometimes comes home from school to find him sitting on the couch, head in his hand out of grief for another failing in the plan to get his love back, and the boy will just dump his backpack on the floor and join him on the couch, hand on his shoulder. And more than once, the boy has come running into his own room in the dead of night, leaving him to hug and hold and soothe. The last time, Henry had actually fallen asleep, right there in his arms, head on his shoulder.

Three hundred years, and he doesn't think he has a memory more precious to him than that one.

They never seem to talk, really, during these times of comfort. They don't need to. There's just such a simple trust between them, that they only really need to be there, for each other. They understand, they get it. There's no shame. No shame in showing the pain, the hurt, the devastation of it all.

They've seen each other cry. It's made no difference in their relationship, save perhaps bringing them closer, because they both know without question that it's okay to show that side, to be that wrecked around each other.

They've both got a safe place here.

* * *

The imp wakes up.

Belle's audible message on the talking phone - _voicemail_ Henry tells him, equal parts exasperated and fond - is a mess of disbelief, something akin to panic, and damn near incoherent joy, but she babbles something about Emma, _Rumple was with her at times, like a mentor, like he'd do with Regina_ , that makes the fine hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. As distasteful as he finds the crocodile - so much more pleasant unconscious - he decides that this is not something he can ignore, and so a visit must be paid.

He hadn't counted on the boy insisting upon coming with him.

"You know I'm not grounded anymore," Henry says, grinning, the cheeky bugger. "I can go where I like now. So I really could just follow you there, and there'd be nothing you could do about it."

"And find yourself promptly grounded again for going against my wishes? Doesn't sound a solid plan to me, mate."

"You would ground me for visiting my ailing grandfather, who just came out of a months long coma?" Henry asks, purposefully making his eyes go huge and sad, even when he can hear the damn playful teasing in the boy's voice. "I don't think that's very fair at all."

"Bloody _hell_ , kiddo," he groans. "You're really going to make me do this?"

"It's news about Mom, Kill," Henry replies, serious now. "If you really don't want me to go, I won't, but you know I'd only make you tell me everything the moment you got home. Isn't it easier if I just go with you to get it first hand?"

He stares up at the ceiling, beaten. "You know, I truly think you may be turning me into a pushover."

Genuine surprise lights up the kid's face. "So I can go?" he demands.

Grabbing the boy by the back of his shoulder and pulling him up against him, playfully roughhousing, he growls, "Come now, let us go before I change my mind."

He tries very hard to ignore Henry's laughter as he locks the door behind them.

* * *

Rumplestilskin is tense when they arrive, even struggling against Belle's attempts to keep him in bed, trying to get up to stand, glaring fiercely at Killian. Henry can't help but think that his grandfather doesn't even notice him, so intent is his furious focus on the pirate.

"Come to take me out while I'm down?" he hisses upon finally giving up, collapsing against the mound of pillows. "How very typical."

Killian rolls his eyes, on the face of things entirely at ease, but Henry can feel his tension in how tight of a grip the man keeps on his own shoulder, as if on guard. "Rest easy, Crocodile," he declares, "I am only here because Belle seems to think you have information about Emma. Should that not be the case after all, we'll take our leave."

"You expect me to believe that's all?" Rumplestilskin scoffs. "After all your _failed_ attempts at assassination, you're just going to let this golden opportunity go? I know you better than that, _pirate_."

A muscle tics in Killian's jaw. "Do you have anything to share about Emma or not?"

Wild laughter escapes Rumplestilskin, and Henry finds himself wondering if his grandfather had come out of the coma entirely sane. His weakness and frailty had been scary in of itself, but this… this is just disturbing. Killian seems half ready to abandon the whole thing, grab him and run, getting him the hell out of there, and Henry just knows that Killian is fiercely regretting allowing him to come.

That being as it is, Henry takes a step forward, even as Killian's grip upon him somehow impossibly tightens.

"Grandfather," he murmurs, gently as he can. "Please. If you know anything about my Mom, you have to tell us."

Rumplestilskin stares at him so blankly it's almost as if he's looking right through him. Frightened, he allows Killian to pull him back, positioning his own body in front of his, a blatantly protective stance.

"You were the bloody Dark One, Crocodile. You must know something."

"Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years you waited to kill me," he mumbles, shrill and manic. "You'll do it now, oh yes you will… you'll finally be that murderer you waited so long to be. Will Milah feel vindicated then? And so the crocodile shall be slayed, tick tock, tick tock."

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Killian finally explodes. "You were sane five minutes ago, enough of the act. For once in your life, man up, be a grandfather, and abide by your grandson's request."

"And answer all your questions in turn?" Rumplestilskin asks, craftiness back in his eyes. "Whyever would I do that?"

"Because in this, crocodile, you can't separate what I want, and what your grandson wants. We both want Emma back. Mother to your grandson, remember? Are you prepared to finally do right by her, by him, by Bae in turn? Or shall you stab them all in the back once more, in pitiful attempt to get a knife at me?"

Fury flares in the older man's eyes. "You…"

"Yes, _me_. Nemesis for countless lifetimes over. But here's the difference between you and I: I've actually changed. And I _don't care_ , are you hearing me Crocodile, I don't care anymore. I'm done. You can live, or you can die, but it won't be by my hand. I will not risk losing what I've gained here. Consider this a declaration of ceasefire, if you will. Now I will ask you one more time. Do you know anything about Emma?"

The sheer loathing in his grandfather's expression as he stares at Killian is startling, but when he glances over and makes eye contact with himself, it shifts into something like guilt, and Rumplestilskin finally starts to speak.

"There has never before been two surviving 'Dark Ones'," he says. "The history of the power - of the dagger - has always been to kill for it. That Ms. Swan has obtained the power without killing for it seems to have created a link, a connection. A thin thread, if you will, not at all reliable, easily broken, but there. While I was in the coma, it allowed a version of me to communicate with a version of her, through dreams on my end, though I cannot say whether it was the same on hers. Somehow, I think not."

"Mom didn't tell…" Henry starts to whisper.

"Hush, Henry," Killian mutters, cutting him off, to Henry's immediate understanding and embarrassment for not thinking.

(Grandfather or not, Rumplestilskin is not one to be trusted.)

Rumplestilskin watches their interaction, clearly considering its meaning and implications, even as he continues his explanation. "I believe the version of me that was in this dream realm was able to follow the Darkness's path to her, to whatever remains of Emma Swan's soul within the body of the new Dark One. She's combative. She fights the Darkness, when she needs to embrace it. She'll remain something separate until she does, and in that case, there is little I can do to help her."

"She'll never embrace it," Killian hisses. "She'll keep fighting."

"Then she may well find that in time she'll simply cease to be. There's no declining being the Dark One, once the Darkness has made its claim."

"You're wrong about that. We'll find a way."

"We shall see."

"And that's all you know?" Killian demands. "That's it? The bloody Dark One for centuries and that's all you have to tell?"

Rumplestilskin smirks. "All I care to share, at any rate."

"Bloody useless," Killian snarls. "Come now Henry, we're leaving."

"You're not going anywhere with my grandson!"

"Rumple," Belle chides, wisely quiet until now, having not wanted to get in between the two men. "You've been in the coma for months, I haven't had time to tell you everything yet. Henry is in Killian's custody for the time being. Of course Henry will be going with him."

Blank shock is plain on the imp's face. "How is that _possible_? What happened to Regina? She would not stand for this."

Abruptly furious that his grandfather would think that he could speak for his mother, Henry steps around Killian to glare, "My Mom allows it because I needed her too. Because _she_ does what's best for me."

"What's _best_ for you?" Rumplestilskin scoffs. "An alcoholic, crippled, thieving, cheating…"

"SHUT _UP_!" Henry screams, feeling near hysterical with rage. "You know nothing…"

Killian's grip on him is only loose enough to not bruise. "Kiddo, we're going, let's go, it's alright…"

"What did you not understand about my grandson not going anywhere with you?"

"Hear this, Crocodile," Killian hisses. "I may be done with half cocked plots of revenge for Milah. But if you try to take the boy away from me, we are _going_ to have a problem."

Finding himself calmed by Killian's steadfastness and all that he doesn't say in words ( _Mine_ , he hears, and thrills at), Henry steadies himself enough to be able to speak calmly when he says, "Better listen to him, Grandfather. It won't end well for you if you don't."

And with the satisfaction the last word always grants, Henry finally allows Killian to pull him out the door.

They leave the shop and walk down the street in silence for awhile, but before long, Killian slings an arm around his shoulders, pulling him up against him in a half hug even as they continue walking forward and growls, "Next time your grandfather comes out of a coma we'll just skip him and go for ice cream instead."

It startles the laughter right out of him.

They might have learned nothing new - nothing useful anyway, and the visit might well have been hell, but it's easy enough to shake off when he's right back where he started the afternoon.

Laughing happily at his favourite person.

* * *

Henry's birthday sneaks up on him.

He'd known it, of course, had even vaguely been making plans for it somewhere in the back of his mind, but time does its 'suddenly having meaning and thus actually passing' thing to him again and Regina is declaring that Henry will be spending the entire day with her to celebrate the date of his birth. A reasonable request, to be certain, and one he readily agrees to, largely because it gives him time to figure out what the bloody hell he's going to do for the boy once he gets him back for the day after his birthday.

Gifts and cake, he believes, are customary in this realm, as is some form of preferred foodstuff for dinner. Henry's favourite is cheeseburgers, he knows, but they go down to the diner and puppy-dog eye Granny into cooking for them so very often, there is nothing special in that. No, he must prepare the meal himself. A cheeseburger. There cannot be but anything to it, right?

… He'll get Granny to do the cake, just to make sure they have something edible.

* * *

It had been a strange experience, spending almost an entire weekend back at his old home. It had felt, truly, like something out of his past, giving him an eerie sense of deja vu for most of the time he was there, even with the new additions of Robin and Roland.

His mother, of course, had taken the opportunity to spoil him ridiculously, and he was certainly happy with the additions to his video game collection, as well as his new ice skates; and his birthday dinner of spaghetti carbonara had been fantastic, but all told he was kind of relieved when his Mom dropped him back off at Killian's on Sunday, as requested just before 6:00, for his 'birthday part two celebrations'.

He'd walked in the door with a happy call of 'Killian, I'm home!' and it had stunned him how natural, how right it felt to say it.

This was home now.

Killian's head pops around from the kitchenette, looking some kind of flustered but cheerful enough. "Hey kiddo! Happy birthday!"

"Belated birthday now," Henry corrects, tossing his bag into his bedroom as he walks past it.

"I prefer to think of it as an extended birthday, myself," Killian muses. "Makes it so I still get to be part of it. How was your time with your mother?"

"Good," he allows, with a tiny smile. "She got me a whole bunch of new video games."

"Just as well, as I lack expertise on that particular matter."

He has to laugh at that. "We'll get you there. I happen to be an excellent video game teacher. I even managed to get Mom to know what she was doing when we were living in New York and she was hopeless when we started."

"Ah, well if your Mom can learn such a thing, then surely I could manage."

Henry grins. "That's the spirit."

Obviously amused, Killian tells him to go ahead and sit down at the table, that dinner is - he thinks - just about ready.

"What are we having?"

"Your favourite, my boy. 'Least, I hope."

Playful, but still genuinely amazed, Henry lets his jaw drop. " _You_ … made cheeseburgers?"

"Let us not get ahead of ourselves, lad. I made an attempt at cheeseburgers. Not altogether sure how that attempt worked out."

As it turned out, wonderfully. The cheese is perfectly melted to gooey goodness, the toppings are fresh, and the burger itself is even cooked to Henry's slightly unusual preferences, crisped to the point of being burnt around the edges but normal in the centre. He keeps feeling the need to tease Killian about why they ever bother bugging Granny for a burger if he can make one like this himself, and delighting in the way the tips of Killian's ears go red in embarrassment.

Seriously though, Killian's pancakes were expert, and he could manage eggs and bacon now after a great deal of practice, and his grilled cheese was top notch because _once we get your Mom back it'll need to be_ , but that had been the extent of Killian's cooking skills so far as Henry had known.

But this might actually be the best cheeseburger he'd ever had in his life.

The rest of the evening passes by in a blur of absolute contentment; a delicious chocolate cake that Killian hilariously tries to steal the credit for (he knows Granny's work when he tastes it), and a few small gifts that still feel special, particularly the last, a battered book that Killian tells him had been his own favourite when he was his age - an anthology of legends and fables of the sea - and the declaration that it's time the stories touch a new young boy with a giant imagination.

Later in the evening, Henry even manages to convince Killian to take a try with one of his new video games, as they sit together drinking cocoa - with cinnamon, obviously - and ends up laughing himself silly at the way the pirate hoots with pride when he finally manages to go up a single level.

Just before he's to go to bed, he collects the accumulated garbage of the plastic wrap from the new games he had opened, and he goes to dump it all in the kitchen trash, when Killian's somehow embarrassed sounding "wait, I'll do that!" comes just a split second too late after Henry opened the lid.

And found himself staring at at least a half dozen hamburger patties that clearly weren't cooked to his own ridiculous preferred way of eating them, as they'd been burned all the way through or not cooked enough.

He looks up at Killian, who'd gone a particularly bright shade of red and was rubbing at the back of his head. Defeated, he sighs, "I'd wanted it to be perfect."

So he'd kept trying and trying until it had been. For him, he'd done that.

It seems ridiculous, Henry thinks, that this should be the best thing anyone's ever done for him, but it is, and he steps forward, throwing his arms around Killian in the biggest hug he can muster.

He has no idea what to say, which is probably why he starts speaking without thinking, and thus finds himself stumbling accidentally over something huge. "It was the best. Ever. I can't believe you put that kind of effort into it for me, I really can't. Thank you, Da… Damn, this has been the best birthday ever."

Killian's eyes are warm and fond as he scolds him, "Language, kiddo. But you are very welcome. Now, to bed with you. You've got school tomorrow."

He's curled up, warm in his bed, lights out, but still, he lies wide awake as he stares at the ceiling.

Killian hadn't caught the stutter, but he certainly had.

And it scares him. Scares the hell out of him.

Because when he hadn't been thinking, too overcome with gratitude and love, he'd very nearly called Killian 'Dad'.

* * *

He needs to see his Mom again.

There's just no question about it.

Because it's been a few days now, and now that it's thought it, he can't get his stupid head to stop calling Killian 'Dad', and it's almost slipped out a few times, and one of these days he is going to say it without thinking and ruin everything and he's worked himself into a panic and he needs to talk to someone, and Killian is the one he talks to about everything from Mom to school to the pretty girl who had come to Storybrooke with all the Camelot people, and Killian is brilliant to talk to about all of those things, but this, this he can't. This, he needs his Mom.

And so he ignores the absolutely nauseating feeling of guilt he has in his stomach about sneaking around on Da - Killian! - and about using a little kid who absolutely hero worships him, and he quietly instructs Roland one night when they're playing a game together before dinner that on the next night that he's supposed to come for dinner, he needs Roland to cause a distraction right around the time he usually arrives.

The little boy's eyes are solemn and adoring as he agrees to his 'mission', and Henry does his damnedest not to let tears come to his eyes as they shake hands. God, but he hates this.

But it's got to be done.

He _needs_ to see his Mom.

He just hopes Killian will forgive him once he finds out about it.

* * *

The plan works better than he could have imagined it would.

As always, Killian walks him to his mother's house, watching him until he's safely inside the front door (they'd always joked that he was a known flight risk worthy of the secure treatment, he remembers with a particular surge of that terrible guilt), before he leaves to go and meet with Belle, or Snow and Charming, or to do whatever it is he needs to do that night, usually something to do with saving Emma.

Henry usually then goes to the kitchen to say hi to his mother and Robin, and to see what it is they're cooking for dinner, before making his way to Roland's playroom to play with the little boy for a half hour before they eat.

But on this night, the moment he walks into the house, he can hear from upstairs the absolute racket of a child throwing a massive - one for the record books - temper tantrum, the efforts of both Regina and Robin to soothe and determine what's wrong be damned.

He waits as long as he dares, standing in the front entrance of his former home, before he opens the door a crack, peers around outside, assures himself that Killian is in fact long gone, and then takes off running.

The benefit of a tiny town, it's not a long run. The downside of a tiny town, there's always the risk of running straight into someone he doesn't want to run into, including - God forbid - Killian.

He sees a couple of the dwarves along the way, but diving into a convenient alleyway, manages to escape them unseen, and continues on his run without further issues.

He's damn near doubled over and panting by the time he just lets himself inside the house, which he knows is not an advantageous position to be in when strutting into the lair of a dark creature, but he knows and trusts his Mom. She'll come for him.

And indeed, when the Dark Swan appears, it only has time for its eyes to go big in surprise before something flickers and changes in them.

" _Really_ , kid?" Emma Swan demands.

For the first time in days, Henry feels himself genuinely grin.

"Hi Mom."

* * *

He'd been settled in at the loft, making small talk with Charming and grinning at the babbling toddler in Snow's arms as they waited for Belle to join them (the imp most certainly not invited), when his cell phone had rung, bringing with it an immediate sense of foreboding.

 _No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no_ , he'd thought, damn near screaming it in his head as he'd seen the caller identification prove what he already knew, that the only one who'd be calling him was Regina.

"What is it?" he demands as he answers the call.

"Hello to you too," Regina scoffs, haughty as ever. "I can't say I appreciate your tone, when you're at fault here. Did you forget tonight's my night with Henry?"

"Gods damn it," he swears vehemently, mindlessly hanging up the call without further response, flying out of his chair and helping himself to Charming's sword, usefully sheathed by the door, and leaving at once, ignoring the startled exclamations of both Charmings, and Belle, who he'd just run straight into at the door.

There's no time.

Because if the boy had snuck out on him _and_ Regina, there's only one place he would be.

* * *

She could kill the kid.

If she wasn't busy hugging the living daylights out of him.

"What. The. Hell. Were. You. Thinking?" she demands, emphasizing each word with a tap to the back of his head.

"Was thinking I felt like a visit," Henry shrugs, and Jesus, the kid had somehow gotten cheekier in the time they'd been separated.

She does not think that's a good thing.

"Honestly, Henry, after what happened the last time…"

"What, you appearing the moment you thought I was in any trouble?"

"That's not what I meant, and you know it! You _know better_ than to put yourself into this kind of danger again! You would have been here every single day if you truly thought it was safe, but it's not and you weren't, because you _knew it_."

"You're repeating yourself, Mom."

"Maybe I'm hoping if I say it enough times, it'll smack some sense into you! Honestly, what the hell are you trying to accomplish? Are you _trying_ to get yourself killed?"

Henry pulls away from her, insulted. "Of course not! I knew you'd keep me safe, and I needed to see you!"

" _Why_?"

"I just… I needed to talk to you about stuff."

"What 'stuff'? You told me last time that you talked to Killian about things, so I don't…"

"I can't talk to him about this!"

"About what?" she asks, unable to help herself but to immediately soften when she saw how upset Henry was getting. "Henry, what is it?"

Her boy looks truly miserable, refusing to make eye contact with her. "This was a bad idea," he mutters. "You're going to think I'm terrible."

"Will you let _me_ make that call? I would never think you're terrible. There, call made. You're my kid, kid. I think you're wonderful, always. So what the hell is bothering you so much that would sneak out here to come to talk to me about it?"

Henry looks up at her, finally, but he's teary eyed when he does. "Dad," he whispers.

Of all the things that she'd been thinking, that hadn't come up. "You're missing Neal?"

If anything, Henry only looks more devastated, with an additional flicker of something that comes _far_ too close to self-loathing for her liking. Her son swallows, then finally rushes out, "It's not about him, Mom. It's… it's Killian."

"What?"

Henry's lower lip trembles obviously with the effort of not crying. "He's become 'Dad' to me, Mom. I don't know how it happened. I know it's not fair to Dad… but I didn't know him, not really. We never got to be father and son for long enough. But D… Killian and I _have_ gotten that chance, for him to be a father to me. I've been living with him, Mom. He and Mom agreed to it, because with you gone, I felt so much better when I was with him. So I've been with him for months, ever since the last time I saw you. It's home. It's really home to me now, so much so that when I do spend the night over at Mom's, it doesn't feel right. I don't belong there. I belong at Killian's. He's home. And… and he's my Dad."

She waits until she is certain that Henry has said all he needs to - all he's going to, at any rate - before stepping forward and placing her hands on her son's face, a mother's comfort in the connection.

"I know, kid," she murmurs.

"You… you know?"

"I saw it in you the last time we saw each other. I guess I saw it before you did. The way you talked about him, Henry… the two of you had become family to each other. And you know, I was upset - not because I thought it was 'terrible' or 'unfair' to Neal, but because I wasn't there to get to see it. And I wanted to be. Getting to watch the two people I love most, become family? Henry, that's not wrong. That's beautiful."

The tears in Henry's eyes spill over. "You should be there. We could be a real family then."

"Oh, Henry. I think, I really think, you and Killian are a real family _now_. And I'm part of it, right? I'll always be part of it. Love is family, kid, and family is love. I love both of you with all my heart, and you both love me. That's still family, even when I'm not with you."

"You are working on it, right?" he asks, sounding just like a little boy. "You're trying to come back to us? You promised."

Her own tears come. "I'm working on it, kid," she agrees. "You saw how fast I was able to take over when I realized you were here, right? I've been practicing. The Darkness doesn't like it… or me… very much. But when I want to, I can seize control almost instantly now. I can make it last for awhile too. Longer than I could when we were with with each other last."

"That's good, Mom."

"Yeah, it is," she tells him, smiling through her tears. "I kept thinking I should just do it one day, just take control, and go and see everyone. You, Killian, my parents, my brother. I've missed you all so much. But I've been so scared too, kid. I'd be ready to leave, to go and find you, and then I'd think, 'it's not good enough, you should wait, wait until your control is stronger'. I'm so afraid of putting you all in danger. It's my biggest fear that the Darkness will let me get close to someone I love, to _everyone_ I love, and then just explode out of me and hurt you in order to keep me in line. I couldn't risk it, so I stayed hidden here."

"Until I show up to force your hand."

"Yeah. Until then."

"I shouldn't do this anymore, huh?" he asks, sounding about as miserable at the suggestion as she feels. "I should leave it up to you, when you feel ready to come see me?"

She sighs, placing a kiss on top of his head. "This is an awful situation. I don't ever want you feeling like it's wrong to need me, to need to come talk to me. But I don't know what else to tell you. Without knowing that you're 100% safe… I feel like I can't risk it, kiddo."

To her surprise, Henry smiles. "Dad calls me that."

"Kiddo?"

He nods. "He says 'kid' is yours. Yours and mine, and he didn't want to take that away from us, but it was so entrenched in his head because he's heard you call me it so many times. So it was just coming out one day… but he didn't want to upset me, so he turned it into 'kiddo', and it stuck. He calls me it all the time."

"You like that?" she asks, smiling knowingly.

He nods, almost shyly. "It makes me feel special. Like maybe I mean as much to him as he does to me."

Pulling her son close to her, she kind of huffs out a laugh. "Henry, I think you probably have no idea."

And in a case of timing so perfect, she'd think it was magic (you never know in this town), Killian Jones chooses that exact moment to kick the door in.

* * *

It probably says something about the terror that he'd been in that at first, he does not see her.

He only sees the boy, safe and unharmed, if looking a little stunned.

"Henry," he growls, "get over here. Now."

Henry stands up, but rather than walking over to him as requested, he stays where he is. The boy opens his mouth as if to say something, stops, swallows, and tries again. "Killian, it's okay, it's Mom."

It's at this that he finally glances over at her, and there is no doubt.

He sees her.

Her eyes are huge and teary as she stares back and forth between him and her son, and she seems not to know what to do.

He wants to run to her, to pull her into his arms and never let go. He wants to cry, to laugh; wants to scream, wants to pray to any God who will listen to just give her back to him.

He doesn't do that any of that. Instead, he locks his legs to keep himself from collapsing to his knees right then and there.

"Emma," he breathes.

She attempts a smile. It's shaky, and broken, and the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. "Killian."

She's still got a hand on the boy's shoulder, and it hits him that they're both right there in front of him, everything he's ever wanted, a family of his own.

It's so close and so far away all at the same time.

Hope is a wretched thing, he thinks. And hopes nonetheless.

* * *

He doesn't know what to say.

His Dad - because after talking to his Mom hadn't corrected whatever switch had flipped in his head, Dad it was - looks about as wrecked as he's ever seen him, and his Mom does not look much better.

It's unfair, he knows, that everything that they all want, all _need_ , is so close they could literally reach out and touch it, but it can't last. This moment, the three of them, a real family, it's as transient as smoke, as fragile as a bubble. They'll have to leave soon, him and Dad, go back to a life where his Mom is a haunting presence, but not a real one.

Not a present one, anyway.

No. He does not know what to say. He just looks back and forth between his parents, while his Mom keeps glancing between him and his Dad, and his Dad simply stares at his Mom, before the spell finally breaks and his Dad turns to glare at him.

"I believe I told you to come over here," Killian says, the warning obvious in his voice, and afraid of the tone, this time Henry listens, scampering over to his father's side, wincing at the feeling of his Mom's hand slipping off his shoulder.

"I'm sor…" he tries.

"We'll talk about this at home," Killian cuts him off, harsh but still somehow gentler than Henry feels he deserves.

"I didn't hurt him, Killian," Emma says softly. "I didn't let _it_ hurt him. I would never…"

"I know, love," Killian softens. "Are you… are you…"

"I'm okay," she murmurs, understanding the stumbling. "You can take him. I'll be okay."

Henry stands there and watches his Dad's face fall completely. "I hate keeping him from you," he admits. "I hate it, darling. He's your son."

Emma shakes her head. "He's our boy. You're only keeping him safe for us. You're doing a wonderful job with him, Killian."

"How would you know?"

Emma nods over at him. "I've talked to Henry. I know all I need to from that. I _know_ , Killian. And I need to thank you. Thank you for taking care of my son."

"Always," he whispers.

Emma's smile changes, becomes more real, shining bright like the sun. "I know," she tells him.

"You'll be alright?" Killian asks, the pain obvious in his voice. "When the Darkness comes back, you're alright?"

A shadow crosses over Emma's face, and in a breath, Henry knows that he and his Dad both know that she will _not_ be alright.

" _Emma_?" Killian demands.

"I'll be punished," she admits, and Henry's stomach twists so violently he's surprised he is not sick to his stomach right there. "There'll be nothing you can do, so don't try," she says sharply. "What I'll need from you is for the two of you to be safe, and get as far from here as you can. I'll be alright. I'll live. I always do."

" _Mom_ …"

" _No_ , Henry," she snaps, so unlike her. "I'm not messing around on this one. You'll go. You'll leave, because there is no other choice."

Looking for a moment like she was going to say something else, Emma suddenly shudders, and as if he'd been waiting for something like that to happen, Killian grabs him almost as quickly.

"Go!" she breathes. "Go now!"

"Mom!" he screams, struggling against Killian's grip, kicking out at nothing as his father had immediately lifted him up from behind as if he weighed nothing, fear clearly lending him strength. "No! _Mom_!"

"Get him out of here, Killian," Emma demands even as she starts to cry out in pain, "get him out!"

Henry fights like hell to be released, but with the nearly supernatural strength of a panicked parent, Killian manages to transfer Henry's weight onto his shoulder and run.

The struggle going out of him as soon as he'd been removed from the house, Henry collapses against his Dad, buries his face at the crook of his neck, and sobs.

Killian adjusts his grip just enough so that his hand cups the back of Henry's head.

Still, he runs.

* * *

He gets them back to Regina's, where everything promptly disappears in a blur of yelling people.

His abrupt exit from the loft had apparently - unsurprisingly - sent Snow, Charming, and Belle into something of a panic. Belle had notified the imp. They'd all gone over to Regina's to find out if she knew what was going on, at which point Regina had connected the dots and flown into a horrified fury.

Probably ignoring her dozens of additional phone calls didn't help matters either. Probably.

They're all over there. They all yell, they all scream. It sounds as if Henry might have reached his breaking point, giving as good as he gets. He lets him.

What good would anything else do, anyway?

They'll take him away from him, he thinks. They will, and he has no right to him, not really. Loving the boy like a son doesn't make him his son. They'll take him away, he'll lose him, just like he lost Emma, and then he'll have nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Vaguely, he wonders if he's going into shock.

The yelling quiets, though the multitude of voices don't stop completely. Henry's still there. Henry is beside him, holding his hand, and refuses to be pulled away. His grip is tight on his hand, until his arms are wrapping around his neck, and the boy is hugging him, whispering right in his ear.

The words make no sense.

 _Don't let me lose you too, come on, come back. Dad, Dad, I need you, Dad._

Because they're all he's ever wanted to hear.

 _They're not going to take me away, I won't let them. I won't ever let them. It's you and me, Dad, like we promised. I'd run to you, and I'd keep running to you. I love you, Dad. Dad._

* * *

 _I'm alright, Killian._

 _Emma?_

 _Yes, baby. I'm not gone. I'm not lost to you. I hurt for a little while, but then it ends. You'll be able to save me, Killian. You will. I'm waiting here for you. But right now, our son needs you more._

 _Our son?_

 _Yes, our son. Baby, can't you see how absolutely he is yours too? You're the family he chose for himself. That's such a beautiful thing, Killian. He's waiting for you. You need to go back to him. Come out of this. Get him, then get me. We're both waiting, Killian. Your family is waiting for you._

 _I love you._

 _And I you. Now go. Go to Henry. Then come and get me. You know what to do. You always have._

 _I don't…_

 _You do. Just love me, Killian._

* * *

Life comes back into his Dad's eyes slowly, but it's there, when before they'd been empty.

Henry's breath stutters shakily, the relief of it potent and intoxicating.

He doesn't think he could have gone on, if his Dad hadn't come back from this. He feels quite certain that he would just cease to be, unable to keep going, unable to pick himself back up.

He would have given up, he knows. That would have been it.

The relief when Killian breathes his name is even more staggering still.

"Hey," he whispers. "I'm right here."

"I saw your Mom," Killian smiles.

Henry feels his brow furrow in confusion. "We did together, remember?"

Killian shakes his head slowly. "No. In a dream. Connected, right? The same way you'd always thought. She's okay, kiddo. She's waiting for me to find the way to free her. She trusts me to find it. I need you to trust me too."

"Always."

 _Dad_ , he thinks but doesn't say.

"Then let us go home."

* * *

It's not quite that simple. Not simple at all, rather.

For while Robin, Belle, and Snow sit quietly, watching warily, Regina, Charming, and the bloody imp all argue loudly over each other about why Henry's custody should transfer over to each of them.

Judging from the look on his face, the boy in question considers this all a rather infuriating waste of time, finally jumping up onto a couch to grab everyone's attention and announcing, "If you're all quite through trying to decide my life for me, I've had enough. It doesn't matter which of you you try to stick me with, I'll find a way to run off to Killian. Just ask my Mom. If her magic couldn't stop me, I don't think anything else any of you could come up with would. I want to go home. I _am_ going to go home. And my home is with Killian."

He feels his lips twitch into a smirk as everyone turns to stare at him. "What the boy said."

Henry seems like he's trying hard not to laugh. "We're going home, and we're going to come up with the way to save my Mom."

Snow interjects. "Henry, we've got that under control. Camelot is about to agree to open a portal for us to finally go see Merlin. He's all-powerful. He'll be able to do this for us."

"At what cost, Grams?" Henry demands. "If all magic comes with a price, what kind of price are we going to have to pay for Merlin to do some hocus pocus to make one of the darkest curses in the Enchanted Forest's history just vanish out of Mom?"

"Arthur says…" Charming starts.

"Can we trust Arthur?" Henry asks flatly. "Can we trust any of them, really? Isn't it just a little too convenient that half of Camelot showed up in Storybrooke right when you both decided that Merlin was our only hope? Come on, Gramps. No one new ever comes to this town with good intentions."

"Elsa and Anna…"

"Elsa nearly froze my Mom to death, and Anna must've been the result of a unicorn getting hit in the head with the pot of gold at the end of a freakin' rainbow and magically transforming into a human - no one is actually that nice! And if they're the only examples you can come up with…"

"We can trust Lancelot, Henry," Snow tells him.

Henry closes his eyes in exasperation. "Right. Great. So to save my Mom we're putting all our faith on the guy who somehow came back from the dead after my psycho grandmother successfully impersonated him well enough to fool you and a bunch of people who'd been living with him for years? And this actually sounds like a good plan to anyone else?"

Charming turns to glare at Killian. "You allow this kind of attitude?"

Hand and hook thrown up in the air, he shrugs innocently. "Has he said anything untrue here?"

"You're the guardian!"

"And well he knows that I'd cuff him upside the head if he were lying. He's not. I'm not going to punish him for pointing out the flaws to this plan. It's why I've been working with Belle for months researching the history of the Dark One, trying to find another way. Because I've never had faith in going with Camelot. Emma trusts _me_ to fix this. Not bloody Merlin."

"We're doing the best we can to save our daughter!"

"I know you are, Dave," he sighs. "Just as I must do all I can to try and save the woman I love. And for now, that means looking after her son, as she trusts me to. I am taking Henry home. You would all do well not to test me on this."

And finally, finally, they do all let them go.

* * *

They're both quiet as they enter the little apartment at Granny's. Too quiet, for Henry's liking.

Killian going into shock followed by a vision of Emma had been quite the distraction, as had the confrontation at Regina's, but there remains a very great deal left unsaid between the two of them, and the guilt and shame of it all eats at him.

He's certain he will never forget the look on Killian's face when he'd first kicked that door in. Anger and loss and betrayal and a fear so potent it was visceral.

They _need_ to talk this out.

So when Killian quietly and tiredly tells him to go to bed, Henry stands his ground.

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"No," he repeats. "I'm not going to go to bed with this still hanging over us. I broke your trust. I put myself in danger. So if you need to yell, scream, whatever, let's hear it."

Killian shakes his head, turning towards his own bedroom. "I'm not doing this right now, Henry."

"I'm not going to stop _until_ we do this," Henry retorts.

Abruptly furious, Killian finally spins on him, eyes flashing.

* * *

"You want to do this right now?" he demands, glaring at the boy, arms held tight at his side in order to resist the urge to reach out and shake him. "Fine. You tell me right now then. How could you do that _to me_?"

"I…"

"No, don't try to answer that! There _is no_ answer. You had _no right_. Are you hearing me, Henry? You have no right to run off like that, to put yourself into that kind of danger when so many people care about you. What was I to tell your mother if you'd been hurt? Your grandparents? What of Emma? What of your Mom, trapped in the darkness, having to witness _her body_ used to hurt you? What could I have said to her that would _ever_ make that better? And yes, what about _me_? One minute, I'd watched you safely into your mother's house, the next I'm getting a phone call demanding to know where you are. Have you _any idea_ what it did to me in that moment, when I realized where you must have gone? I already watched you come out of that miserable house absolutely emotionally destroyed once, and bloody hell, that was the bright of it! _That_ was lucky. Wrecked, but at least unhurt. And do you know what it was like for your mother and I to have seen you like that? Knowing that we could not fix it for you? You would go in and do all of that again, risking far worse happening? _For what_ , Henry? You tell me why!"

The boy is in tears, but he refuses to let that soften him the way it had so many times before.

"Answer me!" he demands.

"I needed to talk to my Mom," Henry whispers. "I know I shouldn't have. But it's like I get into this state of mind where there's no other solution but to go talk to her."

"You're supposed to talk _to me_. That was the deal here!"

"I couldn't. Not about this."

"About _what_?"

Henry says nothing, staring down at his feet, refusing to answer.

He feels like his head may well explode in fury. "You wanted to talk, Henry! So let us talk! Quit avoiding and _tell me_ what the hell it is that you couldn't come to me about even after _everything_ we've been through together. Unless none of that mattered to you."

The boy's eyes shoot up to meet his, anger flickering in them for the first time.

"Of course it matters," Henry hisses through his teeth.

"Doesn't seem that way."

"I NEEDED TO TALK TO MY MOM BECAUSE ALL OF THE SUDDEN, EVERYTHING IN ME WANTED TO CALL YOU 'DAD'," he finally explodes. "AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST GOING TO SLIP OUT AND I WAS GOING TO CALL YOU DAD WITHOUT THINKING AND I WAS GOING TO SCARE YOU OFF BECAUSE YOU NEVER SIGNED UP FOR HAVING A MESSED UP KID. BUT THE MORE I TRIED TO THINK OF YOU AS KILLIAN, THE MORE SOMETHING IN MY HEAD INSISTED YOU WERE DAD. SO I RAN OFF TO MOM. IT WAS ALL KINDS OF IDIOTIC, I KNOW, AND I'LL REGRET IT FOREVER BECAUSE OF HOW BADLY IT HURT YOU, BUT I NEEDED TO TALK TO SOMEONE, AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AGES, I COULDN'T TALK TO YOU."

At a loss, he can only stare. Stare at the red of Henry's skin, brighter than he'd ever seen it; at the watery dark of his eyes; at the way the boy shudders, shaking so hard he can see the tremors even from a distance.

 _Dad. Dad. Dad._

"It was real," he mutters absently, not really intending for Henry to hear, so of course he does, and the boy looks stricken.

"What?"

He shakes his head rapidly, as if trying to clear it, feeling both like he was drunk and like he was hit far too hard in the head and nothing makes sense any more.

"You… you thought you could scare me off?" he asks blankly. "You thought there could ever, _ever_ be a time when I would not want you?"

Henry stares back at him, looking about as blankly stunned as he feels. "I…"

He takes the smallest of steps forward, towards the boy. "You're _my kid_ , Henry. You've been my kid for ages, even if we hadn't said it until now. There is nothing, _nothing_ you could do that would ever change that."

"But I… I ran off. I tricked you and Mom, I snuck out to see Mom, even though I promised I would never do that again…"

"And I am so furious with you for all of that I can barely think straight," he tells him, figuring honesty to be his best bet, especially right now, in this moment. "That doesn't mean I don't love you, kiddo. I do. I always will."

He doesn't have but a moment pass before his arms are full of teenager, Henry having apparently crossed the tiny apartment at a dead sprint, damn near barreling them both over.

"I'm sorry," Henry tells him, desperation ringing true in his apology. "I'm so, so, so sorry."

Exhaling, he allows himself the pleasure of wrapping his arms tight around the boy, pulling him into an even closer hug, cupping the back of his head with his hand to soothingly stroke his hair. "You and your Mom are my whole world, kiddo. My _whole world_. You don't _ever_ get to risk that. What would I have done if I'd lost you, hmm? What would I have been supposed to do then?"

"I don't know," Henry admits, mumbling the words into his own shoulder. "I messed up. Bad."

"Too right you did," he agrees, "and believe me when I say you will be punished for it. If you thought your last grounding was bad…"

"Whatever it is, I'll deserve it, and I'll take it without complaint," Henry says seriously, wiping at his face with his hand, undoubtably finding it come away soaked with his own tears.

"I'm glad to hear it. But I think it is a matter that we can save for discussion for tomorrow morning. It has been a terribly long day, kiddo. We both need to sleep. Everything else we need to talk about can wait for the perspective of a new day."

Henry nods, thankfully accepting of his decree. Relieved, he nods to himself, turning back towards his bedroom once more.

"Dad?" Henry asks, so quietly, so shyly, that it sends his own heart pounding.

 _Dad._

 _Dad, Dad, Dad._

"Yeah, kiddo?"

"Is it… is it really alright if I call you that from now on?"

He smiles. "What did I just say a few moments ago, Henry?"

"You said… you said I was your kid."

He nods. "You are. You're my kid, Henry. And I suppose that absolutely would make me your father, would it not?"

Henry's smile starts out small, but eventually grows to light up his whole face. "I think it would."

Letting himself let go of the tension of the day, Killian grins. "Come here, kiddo." The boy does not hesitate, throwing himself into the hug again. "It would be my honour, Henry. My absolute honour, and joy, for you to call me Dad."

"You're my Dad," Henry breathes, somehow wonderingly. "I have a Dad."

"I'm your Dad," he agrees, delighting in it. "I will be your Dad forever."

Forever.

 _Dad, Dad, Dad._

* * *

His dreams blur together in a mix of joy and sorrow, guilt and pain, fear and loss, before the same scene starts replaying on repeat.

He keeps seeing his Dad's explosive entrance into his Mom's house. Over and over, and over again, he sees that door being kicked in, and his Dad stomps in, sword in hand.

Sword in hand.

Dad had had his Gramps' sword. And he'd looked terrifyingly prepared to use it.

He wakes with a start.

The dreams stay with him.

Dad came with a sword.

He throws himself out of bed with the intent of going running right into his Dad's room, but ends up freezing in place as soon as his own bedroom door is open, finding Killian standing over the stove in the kitchen, working away on pancakes.

"Morning, kiddo," he greets sleepily.

"Dad," he whispers. "You had a sword."

Killian closes his eyes, regret and fatigue playing equally on his face, before he takes the pan off the burner, turning it off with a flick of his wrist, and turning to face him.

"Yes, I did."

"What… what were you going to do with it?"

"Whatever I needed to," Killian says seriously, even though it obviously pains him. "I'd have done whatever I needed to, to keep you safe."

"But… _Mom_."

"Aye," Killian agrees. "Do you see now, Henry? When you snuck off to your Mom like that, you very nearly forced me to have to make a terrible choice. You or your Mom. And kiddo… it is always, _always_ , no matter what, going to be you for me."

"Mom said something like that too."

Killian nods. "I remember. It's part of the deal, kiddo. You've got your Mom… both your Moms… and I as your parents, you've got to accept that you're the priority. You come first. That will never, ever change."

"But… if you had to fight the Dark Swan for me… if you'd had to take on Mom…"

"It would have destroyed me completely, Henry. There'd have been no coming back from that for me. I'd have done what I needed to do to get you out of there… but it would have broken something inside of me. You need to understand that. You need to understand how very close you came to losing both of us. I would never have been alright again. Nor would you, I think."

He hadn't thought he could possibly feel guiltier than he had last night, but he was wrong. Honestly, he feels like he could collapse under the sheer weight of this.

"You should take away all my things and lock me in my room for the rest of my life," he says, quite seriously. "I can't… I don't deserve… I can't believe I almost did that to all of us."

Killian shakes his head, inexplicable fondness still showing on his face as he wraps an arm around his own shoulders. "You weren't thinking, kiddo. You were caught up in a panic and you did something immeasurably stupid because of it. You're not the first, and you certainly will not be the last."

"I think you're being too forgiving," Henry admits, eying his father warily.

"Perhaps," Killian agrees, suddenly cheerful. "But I do believe that's a parent's prerogative."

He can't help but smile at that, in delighted awe of how absolutely Killian had embraced the change in how he sees him.

"Now, let us have breakfast and get ready for the day. I've a meeting with Belle, so…"

"Can I come?" he asks without thinking, then immediately blushes. "I mean… sorry. I'm grounded, aren't I?"

"You are indeed. Grounded to me."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, you didn't really think I would be letting you out of my sight any time soon, did you? Of course you're coming with me. No choice in the matter, I'm afraid. You can distract your grandfather for me, cut the number of attempted-murderous-looks-that-could-kill that I have to deal with…"

With Killian's back turn, his focus back on cooking the pancakes, Henry can't help but grin.

Stuck with his Dad. He could think of far worse things.

* * *

"There has to be _something_ ," he says, staring at the piles and piles of references that Belle had accumulated, gone through, and promptly declared useless. "What kind of curse is foolproof? There's always a weakness."

The disappointment of it all _hurts._ He'd been so sure that they would find something…

Henry sits next to him, devastation pouring off the boy in waves, to the point where even the Crocodile, standing next to Belle, seems for once in his miserable life to have no snide commentary to add.

"How can there be nothing to help Mom in all of that?" Henry asks, voice wavering in that way of his that's an immediate tell for him fighting tears. Hearing it, Killian wraps an arm around his boy's shoulders, the best comfort he can give him. "How can there be no way to fix this? Grandfather… you were the Dark One for hundreds of years. Don't you know _anything_?"

The expression on the imp's face is strange, for Killian truly doesn't think he's ever seen true regret there before. He stares at Henry for a long while, before turning back to glance at his wife.

There's something there, Killian suddenly realizes. Something they're not telling them.

"You can actually trust me when I say I'm well aware of the irony here," he speaks up to declare. "After centuries spent trying to destroy one Dark One, I'm desperate to save another. Bloody, miserably ironic, yes, but it's the state of things I find myself with. Now I _know_ there's a way. I know I'm to be the one to save her. So take heart, Crocodile. Enjoy this. Because this is me begging. _Tell me_ what you know."

Belle takes a step forward, ignoring her husband's hand reaching out to grab her. "There was a time, once, back in the Enchanted Forest, when I almost freed Rumple."

"Belle!" the imp says harshly.

"No, Rumple! We've got another chance here, you and me. I'm not going to deny the same for Killian and Emma, and _your grandson_ in turn. Killian… I was young, and naive, and I thought of the Dark One's power as just any other curse. I thought it could be broken the same way any other could."

"True love's kiss," Henry breathes, wild hope in his voice, scaring him.

(He didn't want his boy to be let down.)

He sighs. "That won't work…"

"It could," Belle corrects, sounding excited now. "It was, for me and Rumple. It was working. I kissed him, and the curse was lifting. It wasn't until he realized what I was doing, and panicked, and fought me on it, that it started to fail. Rumple valued the power over anything. He didn't want to let it go. He was addicted to it. Emma's not. Emma's been fighting it, this whole time. She doesn't _want_ to be the Dark One. She's remained something separate from the blackness. This could… this could be it, Killian! I can't believe I didn't remember, didn't think of it until now…"

"It won't work!" he yells, the agony in his voice clear even to him.

"What do you mean, Dad?" Henry asks, forgetting in the moment that he was supposed to be calling him 'Killian' in front of Rumplestilskin, though in a lighter-hearted moment, he would have to laugh at the way the imp looks like he's going to faint dead away. "Of course it could. You and Mom love each other."

Gods, he wishes they were anywhere but here, having this conversation.

"We do, kiddo," he agrees. "But it's not… I'm not your Mom's True Love. I'd hoped… I'd thought once… but it didn't work."

Bewildered, Henry stares at him. "You… you've tried True Love's Kiss on Mom before? When?"

Rubbing at the back of his head, he sighs. "When I found the two of you in New York. I'd thought… I'd thought maybe… if she felt the way I did… I'd thought I could make her remember. I couldn't. It didn't work."

To his sheer disbelief, Henry's face doesn't fall, rather, it lights up like the freaking sun, hope and joy blatant across his features.

"Of course it didn't, Dad!" his boy exclaims. "The same thing happened once with Grams and Gramps. Didn't you ever read my book? Grams took a potion so she would forget Gramps, because her heart was broken that they couldn't be together. But Gramps went after her, he found her, and he kissed her to make her remember. But it didn't work, because of course it couldn't! _She_ didn't feel anything, because she didn't have her memories. Just like Mom! It wasn't until later, when Grams started to fall for Gramps all over again, and she kissed _him_ , it brought her memories back then. True Love's Kiss won't work when one person doesn't remember, but it could work this time, because Mom remembers you now! And she loves you! _This is it_. This is how you save her! Dad, we have to go! Let's go!"

He does not want to hope, he thinks, as he glances over to see how the imp and Belle watch them.

"We'll talk about this more once we're home," he decides.

"But Dad!"

He freezes Henry with a single look, feeling quite pleased with the ability to do so (it feels very parental). "Do you really want to test me on this right now?"

"No," Henry mumbles, petulant.

"Then let us go," he declares, before glancing back at his friend and her terribly unfortunate choice in husbands. "Thank you for all you've done to try and help."

"It was my pleasure," Belle says softly. "And Killian?"

"Yes?"

Her eyes are intent on him. "Do not give up. Not on love. It's worth too much."

At this, he can only nod.

* * *

He _cannot_ believe that they actually went back to the apartment.

"Dad, come on!" he exclaims, incredulous, as his father marches him straight into his bedroom. "This is ridiculous. We finally, finally have something we could actually go on. And we're not even going to try?"

"That's right," Killian agrees, sitting him down onto his bed and then promptly disappearing into the other room, only to come right back moments later, something in his hands.

" _Why_?" he demands.

The grin that flashes onto his father's face in that moment is unlike any he's ever seen there before - and he's seen a lot of them, having been responsible himself for countless of them. He is suddenly, forcefully reminded that oh yes, his Dad is quite the pirate.

Especially when he finds himself lying flat on his own bed, his arms tied to his headboard in seconds flat.

"Because _I_ _'_ _m_ going to try," Killian declares, wildly, fiercely cheerful. " _You_ _'_ _re_ going to stay right here, where I know you're safe."

" _WHAT_?!" he explodes. "Dad! You can't… you can't do that! What happened to me not leaving your sight?"

"I've reconsidered," Killian grins at him, with the infuriating add-on of the tiniest of winks. "Parent's prerogative."

He actually dares to laugh, wave his freakin' _hook_ in farewell, and leave the room, calling behind him, "Be good, kiddo! Be back soon - love you!"

And to his sheer disbelief, he hears the door close and lock only seconds later.

He _actually_ left.

With a wordless cry of rage, he struggles with the ropes binding him to his own bed.

They won't budge.

Of course they won't.

"Is this what I get for _hand-picking_ a _pirate_ to be my father?" he bellows at no one.

… Damn, does he ever wish he didn't kind of feel like laughing right now.

* * *

Marching his way to the house the Dark Swan had taken residence at, he ignores the press of nerves in his stomach, the terror in his heart, and the self-hating voice in his head that keeps yelling _Won_ _'_ _t work, won_ _'_ _t work, who could ever love you?_

Henry does.

And he owes his boy this, every bit as much as he owes it to himself.

It doesn't take him long to make it to the house, moving as fast as he was.

He doesn't let himself pause, knowing that if he did, he'd never find the courage.

Instead, he explodes into the house, much as he did yesterday, if lacking the sword. He supposes he probably makes quite the picture in doing so… no wonder the boy had been thinking of it from the moment he had awoken that morning.

Oh well.

The Dark Swan appears almost immediately, that same stark cruelty blaspheming his Emma's beautiful face, though something flickers in its eyes and pain strikes its features, and he takes a thrill of satisfaction at knowing that Emma is in there, clearly fighting hard for him.

That'll make this easier.

"You!" the creature hisses.

He struts straight to the blasted thing, grabbing its face. "Shut up," he says between his teeth, then forcing himself to think only of Emma, he closes his eyes and kisses it, fierce and determined.

The change in her is slow-coming, but he swears he can feel it, a tingle in his fingertips, goosebumps popping up along his body, the telltale sign of magic in the air.

And then her kiss changes. Softens, then deepens.

She gasps against his mouth.

Her taste, her touch…

 _Her_.

It's her.

She pulls away, only just far enough to see him, to look up and meet his eyes.

"Killian?" she whispers.

Gods, it's really, really her.

It actually worked. _Months_ of hell without her… and the solution was so simple.

How typical.

He grins at her, just cocky enough. Reassuring her that it really is him.

And it really is her.

So he tells her what he's wanted to for months.

"I love you too."

* * *

It doesn't hurt anymore. There's no… there's no shadow that she can feel, encroaching on her very soul. No darkness haunting the back of her mind, waiting, waiting to take the control back, to make her pay for thinking she could take it to begin with, to make her hurt.

Her body is hers, and hers alone. Her heart and mind always had been.

It's over. Oh God, it's really, really over.

She throws her arms around his neck, screaming, a wordless rush of joy and relief, and she laughs wildly as he lifts her up in the air, spinning them both wildly around. He joins in, laughing with her, laughing as they play, as they kiss.

For the first time in many months, she is safe. For the first time in months, she is truly happy.

She is free.

"You did it," she breathes into him.

"It took me long enough, I know," he says, still so cruel to himself sometimes.

They'll work on that, she decides. They have time. They have all the time in the world now for her to help him finally see the best in himself."

She shakes her head at him. "You've been busy. Taking care of our boy. I'll owe you forever for that."

It's his turn to shake his head now. "There's no owing me for that, love. Taking care of him, it's just an inherent fact of my life now, I think. It feels natural, feels like it's what I'm _supposed_ to be doing. He's… he's mine."

From where he still holds her, high up in the air, she beams down at him. "Hell yeah he is."

There's so much wonder in him now, she thinks as she looks at him. Such possibility for joy. Henry had changed him, so entirely for the better.

"You know he calls me Dad now?" he asks, and yes, she can see the thrill in his eyes and in his still slightly stunned smile.

She nods. "He'd mentioned something about it when I saw him," she reminds, slightly teasing. "I hadn't thought he'd admit it to you so quickly though. He's gotten so very brave, since I've been away."

"He's amazing," he agrees, before colouring slightly. "Speaking of him, though… I think we ought get you home to him. Our boy has been missing his Mom something fierce."

She agrees quickly, eager to see her son now that she no longer has to be afraid, and Killian sets her on the ground, careful with her to ensure she keeps her balance.

"I'm actually really surprised he's not here. How did you manage to keep him away?"

His colour absolutely, spectacularly deepens, and he immediately starts rubbing at the back of his head. "I, er… may have tied him up?"

She whips her head around to stare at him, and seeing the truth of it in his face, immediately bursts into a wild, beautiful fit of giggles.

Killian crosses his arms, mock glaring at her, even as a self-deprecating smirk starts playing at his lips. "It was all I could think of in the moment," he admits.

She absolutely beams at him, wrapping her arms around his neck once more. " _Pirate_ ," she breathes, teasing him.

"You know it."

"That I do," she agrees. "And I love you, so much."

His eyes go soft, in a way she would even dare to describe as adoring, and she shivers with the pure pleasure of it.

"I will never tire of hearing you say that," he tells her.

"Then I'll just keep having to tell you," she declares. "I love you. I love you, I love you."

"I love you too. Gods, how I love you."

They say it together, like a chant.

Henry can wait a few more minutes.

* * *

They take the time for Emma to change back into herself, doing away with the Darkness's ideas on physical appearance. The stark make-up is washed off, her hair released from its tight knot into her own preferred flowing waves, and they both take a very great deal of satisfaction of tossing the black robes into the fireplace and watching them burn. Her new clothes, a long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of jeans that he'd run out to the store for are nothing special, meant for comfort more than style, but they're _her_ , and that is how she intends to see her son.

As Emma, as _Mom_ , not as the miserable dark creature who'd haunted him.

He delights in her smile, and in her thank-you kiss, when he presents her with the leather jacket he'd been unable to help himself but to purchase. It's not red, but it'll do.

The woman before him now is absolutely, completely, and entirely Emma Swan.

And being as she is, eagerness shows plain in her expression as she tells him, "Let's go see our son."

 _Ours, ours, ours_.

It doesn't take them long, to make it back to the apartment. He'd been pulling her along, in a cheerful rush, or maybe she'd been pulling him, or they'd been pulling each other until they were both basically running, laughing all the while.

They get there, they arrive, and then they both stare at each other, as if they're not entirely sure what to do.

She shrugs, he grins, and unlocks the door, walking into the apartment, making sure Emma stays well behind him. She's distracted anyway, he can tell, as she looks around the space with huge eyes.

"Dad?" he hears Henry yell from his room, and even as annoyed as the boy sounds, he can't help the constant thrill of joy he gets every single time Henry directs that beautiful word at him.

He pokes his head in the door, playful. "You bellowed?"

His boy's eyes go huge and threatening, and he's pretty sure that father or not, Henry'd be trying to end him if he had the option right now. " _Really_?" the kid hisses, sounding so exactly like his Mom that he only barely manages to hold back the guffaw.

"Oh, _right_ ," he says cheerfully, walking over to carefully cut the boy loose with his hook. "The ropes. Sorry about that, kiddo. Had to be careful."

"You _know_ that's not what I meant," Henry chides, though he seems quite happy to be able to stretch his arms back out.

"Oh?"

Henry glares at him, one of the boy's patented 'get real' looks. " _Well_?" he demands.

And having clearly been waiting for the perfect moment, Emma pokes her head in the door right on cue. "Nice place you got here," she deadpans.

"MOM!" Henry cries, scrambling off of the bed, very nearly kneeing Killian right in the head in the process.

Emma laughs, delighted, catching her son as he flings himself into her arms, giving his mother one of the massive hugs he'd been on the receiving end of himself so very many times.

He sits on Henry's bed and watches, grinning all the while, as mother holds son, swaying back and forth slightly, as if rocking the boy.

 _Family_ , he thinks as he watches.

His. Finally.

They pull back after what seems a long, beautiful time, both of them turning to grin over at him, and in sync as if they planned it, they both reach out a hand to him, as if telling him to join.

He does not need telling twice.

He holds them tight to him, his True Love, and their son, and he feels free.

* * *

Her boys wrestle around joyfully as they walk.

Henry struggles valiantly, but Killian, so much stronger even than she'd remembered, is quite the match for her gangly son, and manages to get their boy lifted up into the air and over his shoulder, hanging halfway down his back, upside down.

He's laughing so hard it's a wonder he can breathe.

"Dad!" Henry demands between giggles, "Put me down!"

Killian pretends to think it over, then promptly shakes his head. "Nah," he decides. "I like you like this. Far less trouble than usual."

"You're no fair!"

"I am plenty fair, thank you," he says, playing at being offended. "And for saying such a terrible thing to your poor, innocent, very handsome father, you can stay where you are and think about what you've done."

"All the blood is rushing to my head!" Henry laughs, starting to pound his fists on Killian's back.

"All the better for thinking with!" Killian declares cheerfully. "And you can attempt to beat me up all you like, mate, my back's seen far worse than you. _Pirate_ , remember?"

"Unfair advantage!" Henry cries, wildly ineffective as he's now wheezing so hard he can barely be understood.

"What's that now?" Killian asks. "Didn't catch that. More's the pity."

They continue like this all the way to her parents' loft, and she finds herself laughing just about as hysterically as her son is.

Do they know how beautiful they are together, she wonders. Do they know how well they fit?

They're so absolutely each other's. Henry is Killian's, Killian is Henry's. They're family of their own merit.

She'd known, way back then, that they would have cared for each other because she loved them both, and they both loved her.

But now there's an absolute love between the two of them, that's all theirs. It's a connection she'll never be able to touch, she knows, and she would never want to. This, what she's watching now… it's a kind of magic, in of itself.

The magic of family, the magic that is a parent's absolutely pure love, returned completely.

She's got that both ways now, she thinks, as she walks into the loft, leading one half of her family in to the other, into her mother's shocked scream of joy, and her father's stunned laughter, and her little brother's - so big now, _God_ \- babbling of her name, as Snow hugs her tight, and Charming tearfully explains that they showed Leo pictures of her every night, so he wouldn't forget, all the while trying to keep the toddler from gripping at her hair.

Family. Love. Home.

She who had once had nothing, finds herself so very blessed with it all now.

She takes her brother from her father, holding the little one close for the first time in so very long, her Mom hugs her, and her Dad wraps his arms around them all, a group hug of four.

There's space just enough for her to peek around her father's head, and see Killian and Henry grinning at her, Henry having shifted himself around enough to wrap his legs around Killian's middle; still carried, but now in something of a piggy back hold.

It's an absurd image, the once cutthroat pirate giving a piggy back ride to a gangly teenager quickly gaining on him in height, but it seems somehow just right all the same.

It's the picture of a father and son. A picture of a family.

Snuggling the baby closer to her still, and nuzzling in with her parents, she closes her eyes in pure joy.

Picture of a family. She has a few of those.

Mom, Dad. Leo. Killian, Henry.

She has them all now.

She loves.

She is free.

* * *

 _hello love, my invincible friend_

 _hello love, the thistle and the burr_

 _hello love, for you i have so many words_

 _but i, i forget where we were_

* * *

 _Story Notes: I've been desperately working on this story for weeks now, trying to get it finished before too many sneak peeks of the season premiere were released, or God forbid, the episode itself aired. Because for me, this story kind of became my version of season five, and I wanted to get this story out there before the actual TV show wiped all of its possibilities out. Mostly because it seems like Camelot is going to be a massive focus this season, and I barely touched on it, largely because I don't know where they're going with it, and because I *needed* Killian to be the one to save Emma, not Merlin._

 _This story all come out of the fact that I asked myself one question: What happens if, in the loss of Emma, Henry and Killian both turn to the person who for them means a connection to Emma: each other. 26,000 words later, I discovered that I have a ridiculous amount of Captain Cobra feels. All going along nicely with the Captain Swan feels you all already know I have. In sum: I can so, so, so see Henry, Killian, and Emma becoming a family. And that story became something I desperately wanted to tell._

 _If there's any problems with canon consistency to the point of what we know, pretty much, it's either because it's been so long since the show last aired that I completely forgot, or it's because I absolutely hated the vast majority of 4B. The senseless destruction of Snow and Charming's characters bothered me greatly, and as a result, I've chosen to ignore most of the 'Queens of Darkness' storyline in this story and any of my future writing. I don't think it impacted this story too much, but in the case that it did, that's why._

 _Regina fans, Rumplestilskin fans, Neal/Baelfire fans, if anything in this story upset you, I'm really, really sorry. That was not my intent at all, and I hope you know that. I worried about that throughout writing this story, but then I realized that I couldn't let that impact what I wanted to write. This is the story I wanted to tell. I hope you can accept that I'm not trying to cut down any characters or their relationships with Henry, in order to build the relationship between Henry and Killian._

 _To my usual Snowing readers, I know that you're probably upset about the lack of Snow and Charming in this story, but the more I tried to include them, the more it felt forced. The good news here: after spending the last two weeks spewing out 26,000 words for this, I feel like I've fought through quite the battle with the writer's block I've been at war with for the last year. I hope this only means good things for Freedom Love. (No, I've not abandoned that one. I've just been struggling with it. For over a year. I'm sorry. It'll come.)_

 _To my fellow fans of the family that Killian, Emma, and Henry have the potential to become, please, please, please let me know what you think of this. Feedback is always appreciated for any fic, but especially a monster like this. I *need* to know if what I've done with these characters felt realistic._

 _A giant thank you to one Ben Howard, for the insane amount of inspiration his song 'I Forget Where We Were' provided me with. Give it a listen, if you want to get a sense of one of the places from where I was coming with this story._

 _And finally: Thanks, as always, for reading._


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